Page 9 of Bad Decisions

“Thank you,” she says in such a soft voice I barely catch the words. But then she loosens her grip on my T-shirt, and I drop my hold of her so she can step away. Already, I miss her warmth in my arms, her body tucked into me like it belongs there.

“Do you want me to go now?” I ask, and she nods.

“Okay, but promise me you’ll be at the beach tomorrow morning?” I don’t want her to run away from me. Not when today felt like she was beginning to smile again.

“I promise. And, Will? I don’t want you to feel like I’m kicking you out. I appreciate everything you did for me today.” Her smile returns, even if it’s a weaker version.

“Hey, it’s okay. I get it, you just need to be alone for a bit.” I’m torn. I don’t want to leave. Not right now when her eyes are clouded with sorrow. But I know I have to. “Hey, if you’re free tomorrow, I’d like you to spend the day with me at the Carlsons’ beach house.” The invitation tumbles out in a rush. It’s hard to tell who’s more surprised, Jewel or me. The idea came out of nowhere, but now that I’ve voiced it, I’m desperately searching her face, looking for her agreement.

She nods, and a smile pulls at the corners of my mouth. “Good, now you can walk me out.” She pulls the door shut on her father’s room, then leads me back along the hallway.

At the front door, I bend to press my lips to her forehead, a light, barely there kiss. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” I say before turning and walking back down the cracked concrete path to my black hybrid SUV.

Dawn light turns the wet sand into a shimmery path, and my pace quickens. The burn in my chest intensifies, but the pain from the punishing ten miles I’ve just run is soon forgotten when I see Jewel sitting on the beach waiting for me. Her tiny figure huddled against the cold lifts my spirits like nothing else has in recent months.

Spending time with her yesterday shone a light into the darkest recesses of my mind. The memories from years of living in war-torn countries fading and lifting the invisible weight that’s been resting on my shoulders like a three-fifty-pound barbell. I’d never have considered that the simple task of sorting books could do that. Jewel has helped me realize for the first time that it’s good to be home.

I crave normalcy after the life I’ve led in the military. It’s been so long since I saw normal, I didn’t think I’d even recognize it; then Jewel looked up at me, surrounded by a sea of books, and in that single moment, she became my perfect version of normal.

I’ve made some nice plans for her today. Plans I hope will bring more smiles to her face and mine too. For the first time in what must be years, I woke up looking forward to the day ahead. My usual routine of reading, exercising, eating, and sleeping on repeat is about to get a serious shake-up.

I stop running just short of where Jewel is huddled in the folds of her coat, exactly as I’ve found her every other day, with her knees pulled up high to her chest. Then I briefly close my eyes and draw in a lungful of chilly, cleansing air.

Turning, I walk up the dry sand toward the tiny figure. Her wide blue-gray eyes track my progress across the sand, and a soft smile lifts the corners of her pretty lips. With no sign of the usual artifices of makeup, her cheeks and lips are pink-tinged by the cold wind blowing in off the ocean.

When I’m nearly beside her, my voice slices through the early-morning quiet. “Hey … I’m glad you came.”

She cranes her neck to look me in the eye, and her smile widens. “I promised I would.”

“Yes, you did.” I drop onto the sand beside her, as is becoming my habit. “And how are you feeling this morning?”

“Lighter. Happier. And I even slept last night.” Her eyes are more sky blue than gray clouds today.

It’s funny that her words echo my earlier thoughts. We’re good for each other.

“That’s great. And you’re still okay spending the day with me?”

“Of course. I’m looking forward to being out of the house … and I’d rather talk to you than myself.”

Her words brighten my mood more than the weak beams that are still turning the cloudy sky lighter, chasing away the darkness of night.

“Let’s go, then,” I say, jumping back up and offering her my palm to bring her to standing.

She pulls herself up. But when I go to release her hand, she stops me. “Will, thank you for yesterday. You helped me to remember the happy times with my father. I was becoming a bit lost on my own.”

“I know how hard the loss of those closest to us hits. And I’m glad that the little comfort I could offer helped.” I tug her closer and brush back a couple of loose strands of hair with my thumb. “Now, based on your freezing fingers, you need to warm up.”

Mischief sparkles in her eyes, and the corners of her full lips curve up as her smile stretches a little wider.

An unexpected chuckle rumbles up through my chest. “I mean with coffee or hot chocolate, before you get any ideas.”

Her fingers thread through the gaps between mine, like this isn’t the first time but that we’ve done it a hundred times before. As we trudge through the soft sand to the beach house, I keep hold of her hand. She doesn’t try to retrieve it, and I certainly don’t want to let it go. Side by side, we climb the wooden stairs, then I lead her around the wide deck to the side entrance.

“I need to grab a quick shower, but you can go through to the main room that way.” I point her in the right direction and watch her disappear down the hall toward the living area before I continue to the shower, stripping my sweaty running gear on my way.

About ten minutes later, I’m walking back into the living area, still pulling on my T-shirt. A deliberate move on my part that pays off when Jewel’s eyes trail across my abs as I pull the fabric down over my bare skin. Her look of appreciation feels like a warm caress, and I want to rip the T-shirt straight off again and let her do more than just look.

“Are you running through the muscle groups in your head again?” I ask, the temptation to tease her impossible to resist.