Page 6 of Challenge Me

“You are not usually one to care for my well-being.” I raised my gaze to him, suspicious. “So what is this really about?”

Al’s humor softened by a degree. But it didn’t vanish.

It never vanished.

“Ghost,” he said.

I looked up. “What about him?” I asked, though I already knew. Of course I knew.

I had neglected him. Not intentionally; I hadn’t meant to leave him sitting in the garage for three weeks, but I had avoided driving him. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to, though he was much, much larger than any other car I’d ever gotten behind the wheel of; it was what Ghost demanded as his price.

I had felt it from the moment I first stood before him. The pull. The hunger. The invitation to let go of the wheel, even while holding it. And I knew how closely chaos followed when I slipped.

I also knew how badly I wanted to slip.

Ghost needed my surrender, and I couldn’t risk giving myself over like that; I couldn’t be caught by the rapids and carried away from this stuffy teachers’ lounge, from watery coffee, from broken students and dying worlds and Al’s judging look. I couldn’t stop bracing for disaster even if it was killing me.

“You need a long drive,” Al chuckled, as if reading the thought straight from my face. “You need to break some rules, cause some chaos, and have your guts rearranged.” He raised his coffee cup in a mocking toast, because apparently even emotional insight required obscenity.

I was too stunned to speak.

Somehow, after all these years apart, after the toxic whirlwind of our relationship, after all the ways we had ruined and saved each other, he still knew exactly what I needed.

Worse, he had said it out loud.

All I could do was exhale, the sound slipping into a hissing laugh as I shook my head.

“You are vulgar,” I told him.

“You used to like that about me.”

“I used to like a lot of things that were bad for me.”

Al pushed off from the counter and stood. When he held out his hand, Ghost’s keys dangled from his fingers.

“Don’t ask me how I know,” he said, “but I know Ghost needs it too.”

◆◆◆

‘Going to be home late, going for a drive. Don’t wait up.’

I sent the message to Finch from the garage doorway, thumb hovering over the screen for a moment before I hit send.

His reply came almost immediately.

A kiss emoji.

That was all.

No questions. No worries. No ‘where are you going’, no ‘be careful’, no ‘do you want me to come with you?’. Everyone panicked when I mentioned driving.

Just a kiss.

I stared at it. He knew, too? Did everyone know but me?

No. I knew. Maybe I was just too stubborn to admit it, but I knew.

Driving had never been relaxing for me. I had never understood people who went driving to clear their heads. Nothing was calming about constant honking, near misses, and angry shouts from strangers. Roads were a test of survival.