Page 80 of Knot Broken

It was times like this I understood why my parents treated me the way they did. For all intents and purposes, they hated me. Well, right now, I felt the exact same way.

I’d left the room, moving blindly as I fought the wolf. People passed me in the halls, then shrank back from what they saw, because who wouldn’t when they saw a man half shifting into a wolf, then back again, over and over, until the seams of my clothes screamed in protest? It was only when I realised I’d walked back into the gym that I knew what to do. Power a treadmill up, set a punishing pace, and start running.

But it wasn’t enough to stop the wolf.

Claim her! His roar filled my head, crowding everything out, including the sounds of my pants. She is in agony⁠—

And that’s no reason to take away our mate’s autonomy. My legs pumped, my feet slamming down on the treadmill. Nadia has not chosen us. She may never choose us, and⁠—

She might never get a chance because you left her to die.

I stumbled, forced to grip the treadmill railing or be thrown from the piece of equipment. Before I got a chance, someone else killed the motor. Looking up, I saw Blake and Ryan standing there, arms crossed.

“Riley said there’s been an emergency in your suite,” Ryan said, his eyes hardening as he took my state in. Blake shifted slightly closer, looking me up and down, seeing all the places the wolf pushed through, as if preparing for a fight. “What’re you doing here?”

“Have to run.” I tried firing the treadmill up again, but the power cord had been disconnected. Leaping from the platform, I went to plug it back in, but Blake stood in my path. The biggest of the Taylor alphas, he was one of the few that gave my wolf pause. The slow grin that formed on my face was my beast’s, not mine. “Can’t be in that room right now.”

“Why not?” Blake’s voice was a deep rumble. “Nadia is going through this because her latent side was awakened by you and your pack.”

“I know.” All the despair I tried to keep stuffed down rose again and the wolf surged in response. My lips peeled back, revealing fangs, my shirt seams popping as my biceps and chest grew. “I know this is my fault. I know I should be there with her.”

“So why aren’t you?”

“The wolf…” I paced, back and forth, back and forth, because if they wouldn’t let me run, then I needed to keep moving. “If I stay in that room, he’ll shove your mate and Candy to one side. Everyone will get pushed out of the way.” In my mind, I saw with perfect clarity the wolf’s intention. “When she’s in my arms, I’d hold her, tell her she was mine, and then…” When I looked up, both their eyes shone silver. “I’d claim her, whether Nadia wanted it or not.”

I bit off every single word of the last sentence.

“Fuck…”

Ryan glanced at the doorway, then back at me, as if assessing his options in real time, but he had to know. The only person capable of stopping me was me, and so that’s what I was doing.

“You’ve taken a moment to get your head straight.” Blake’s tone was far softer now. “That was the right choice.”

“Glad you approve,” I said, brushing past him and heading towards the power point.

“But if you’ve got enough control to stop yourself from doing something real fucking dumb when Nadia was mid-shift.” Someone else said that, which forced me to pause. “Then it stands to reason you could use that same iron control to keep a lid on that wolf of yours while our mate suffers.”

Tex.

He didn’t realise how fucking lucky he was. The list of people that could say shit like that to me was short, but for some reason his name was on it.

“And you’re here because…?” I asked, taking one stiff-legged step towards him, then another.

“Nadia has been sedated.” His eyes dropped to the floor. “She’s sleeping the attempted shift off, but we need to be there when she wakes up.”

“She’s…” My throat was bone dry, but I forced the words out. “She’s alright?”

We would feel it if our mate was hurt permanently, the wolf said. Or I would. It’s the only reason why I let you run on your stupid, pointless machine.

Not for the first time did I swallow down a curse at my beast.

“Nadia’s unconscious, so not sure I’d call that alright. We have to see how she is when she wakes up.”

I nodded to Blake and Ryan, not trusting myself to speak and with the same urgency that I’d left the suite, I headed back there. Muffled voices came from inside Nadia’s room and I placed my hand on the door, trying to make out what was said, before walking in.

The look on my mate’s face.

Her eyes weren’t brown or grey anymore. Instead they were cold, bright silver, staring me down, and I deserved every part of the silent judgement. She shook her head, those full lips twisting into the bitterest of smiles.