Page 1 of Knot Broken

Chapter 1

Nadia

Good Vibes Clinic.

I read the text message for the umpteenth time, snorting at the cheesy business name, but what else could a sexual surrogate service call themselves? Horny Helpers? Orgasm Outreach Program? Banging for the Broken? At the last one, my smile faded and I looked up at the very impressive skyscraper in front of me. The Crowe Corp building was suitably tall, shiny, and phallic looking.

Let’s just hope the surrogates are just as impressive, I thought, shoving my phone into my pocket and then making for the front door.

If I hoped to be less nervous once I got inside, I was sorely mistaken. I wasn’t the only person in the foyer and that had me surreptitiously eyeing all the people wearing smart business wear. Were they all going up to floor twelve and paying someone to have satisfactory sex as well?

No, because normal people didn’t do that. Just me.

As the numbers climbed, getting closer and closer to my floor, my hands formed fists. Better that than starting to gulp in air like a fish out of water, because that’s what I was. I couldn’t believe I’d let my therapist talk me into this. Surely things weren’t that bad. My ex… All my exes… They— A buzz had me drawing my phone back out.

You’ve got this, the message read.

Helena and I met in high school and we’d been besties since that first day. First boyfriends, first kisses, first breakups, we’d been through it all. I’d even held her hand through a sexual health screening when a condom broke during a hookup.

And now I was going to see my first sexual health professional.

I smiled at the phone, almost able to hear her voice when I saw the message, but whatever good feeling I was having, it was shoved to one side as the lift doors slid open. Floor twelve, I saw, winding my way through the other lift occupants to stumble out into a very professional looking lobby. On the wall, there was a list of the different organisations with arrows to point you in the right direction. I found Good Vibes and then looked down the hall, seeing an office right at the end. The signage was simple, elegant, tasteful, giving a legitimacy to something I still struggled to accept.

“A sexual surrogate can help you with psychological blocks getting in the way of intimacy or sexual satisfaction,” my therapist said. “A psychiatrist might be able to diagnose a mental health condition that’s affecting your sexual experience and provide pharmacological help, if appropriate, but…”

The older woman had a mumsy vibe, which was part of the reason why I chose her, but now this just made an awkward conversation so much worse.

“We’ve talked about lots of different strategies you could use when getting intimate with someone,” she said and I couldn’t have hated her gentle tone more. Like I was a small child needing coddling. “So far you’ve found them really difficult to implement.”

I blinked, seeing my ex, Grant, looming over me. His face was a mask of self-satisfaction as he rutted away above me, but I…? Feeling nothing would’ve been more pleasant than this. Having my pleasure ignored. Him telling me yet again that he’d ‘look after me’ later, but right now he needed this. To use me as a means to an end.

“Unfortunately I can’t provide a list of eligible men who have the communication skills and emotional intelligence to give you what you need, so…” She’d pushed the brochure towards me. “Good Vibes is a new service being offered at Crowe Corp. They’re branching out into the wellness space, but the director is someone I know well. Talk to Brendan and his staff about your needs, take some control of the situation in a safe space.” Her slow nod had my head moving slightly. “It’s unorthodox, but I think it could really help.”

And that was why I was here. I, Nadia Murray, was going to have good sex, even if it killed me. Dumping Grant six months ago was the first step.

And this was going to be the last.

I strode down the hallway, channelling all that nervous energy into moving towards the frosted front door, not away. I walked past an open office that was obviously mid-construction, weaving my way between rolls of plastic and toolboxes set against the wall, before coming to a stop in front of the door.

“Give it a go,” Helena had said over a bottle of wine last night. My head was still throbbing slightly as a result. “Who knows what could happen. It could be amazing, Nads.”

Clammy hands wasn’t a hangover symptom, so I gripped the handle tight and pulled it open.

Walking into Good Vibes was almost anticlimactic. No sleekly dressed receptionist at the front desk. Instead, the place seemed empty. I took one step forward, then another, looking around for someone, anyone, when he walked in.

Oh. My. Goddess.

Brendan had obviously taken a lot of notes during our conversations, because this guy could’ve stepped right out of one of the dreams that had me tossing and turning at night. Brown hair that was just a little too long and curly at the edges. Blue eyes that met mine, the skin around them crinkling. A little grey in his beard to give him a bit of gravitas, but it was the clothing that drew me closer. Wearing a plaid shirt so soft, I longed to stroke its nap, a pair of worn jeans, and heavy leather boots, he was a perfect manifestation of my sexy tradie fantasies.

“Wow, the attention to detail is amazing,” I said, drawing closer then gesturing at him. “Like you got everything right.” With a peer at his boots, I blinked. “Even sawdust on your boots, to give the whole look some authenticity.”

“Right.” His voice was so deep I had to fight back the urge to shiver. “So you…”

His nostrils flared and he sucked a breath in, which was the moment when his pupils blew wide. Another breath, then another, and he was closing the gap between us. A hand went to my arm, callused fingers sliding across my skin, then his thumb drew a slow circle. A prickle of sensation started at just that tiny touch.

So far, so good.

His eyes shone silver for just a second and I had no idea how Brendan managed that. Only an alpha’s eyes shone, but it was all part of my fantasy. Grant always complained about the amount of romance books I read, but hey, a girl needed all the burly alphas claiming their mates she could get if she was forced to endure everyday beta men.