Page 79 of Reverence

“It’s not that big of a deal. We move on. It’s fairly simple. Most men do it all the time, don’t they?”

“I’m not most men,” He tilted his head sideways. “We move on and then what? I pretend you didn’t bleed all over my dick?”

The shift from discussing the case to this gave me whiplash and I stared at him in disbelief.

Blood rushed straight to my cheeks and I knew he could see that.

He reached out to touch my cheek, swiping his thumb across the skin. “What? This getting too real for you, Rivera?”

I released a breath through my nose, moving my face sideways. Wanting his touch to disappear. “No,” I answered sternly. “These conversations don’t faze me.”

“If it doesn’t faze you then why are you so flushed?”

“It’s hot in here.” I lied, clearing my throat. “I’ll be sure to leave my review. Perhaps the next time I come here, their air conditioning will be better.”

“Perhaps you should work on your lying, make it a little more believable.”

Over the past few weeks I learnt to tolerate Ares but I didn’t want to acknowledge the fact or say it aloud.

I ran my tongue along my upper teeth and shifted in my seat. I’ve always been honest and vocal about topics that people often found uncomfortable so I wasn’t going to start avoiding the hard truth now.

“Look,” I started, making him lean in—an indication of his undivided attention. “Since the first time I discovered the meaning of sex, I envisioned my first time to be a little more,”

I paused, tapping my nails on the table. “Romantic, if you will.”

He frowned, his hand dripping onto the table.

“Yes, the circumstances weren’t ideal and I should’ve been honest with you but everything happened so fast. When I was younger I thought that having sex for the first time should’ve been slow, thoughtful, sensual but those expectations died a long time ago.”

“What are you implying, Amala?”

“I don’t regret that it happened,” I answered before I could think but there was no turning back now.

“It happened, it’s done and we can’t change the past,” I said. “Which brings me back to your question, that I’m now going to ask you. What would you like to do moving forward? Did that moment mean something to you?”

He licked his lower lip, rolling up the sleeves of his jacket and that’s when I noticed the bracelet on his arm.

My bracelet.

I opened my mouth to speak but he stopped me, holding his arm up in front of me. “I’ve had this since our trip to Vista.”

He admitted and my heart nearly leaped out of my damn chest due to shock. “If that doesn’t answer your question, I don’t know what will. We’ve been in an endless loop. Going back and forth. We were forced to work together. Kept spending time together. Last night one thing led to another and I discovered that I’m the first man you’ve been with. How do you think I plan on moving forward?”

I didn’t have an answer but his answer crept up my spine and lingered in the back of my mind.

He reached across the table, gripped my chin, and tilted my head back slightly.

“Give me an answer.”

“I don’t know, Ares.”

“You don’t know?”

He laughed humorlessly.

“I don’t.” He said simply.

“I don’t move on and I don’t move forward. What happened between us last night might not have meant anything to you but it meant something to me and I don’t speak to fill the silence. I speak to express my deepest thoughts. I was serious when I said that you’re mine.” He paused before saying.