Page 37 of Cosplay & Consequences

I pulled myself out of my thoughts and realized that Sebastian was poking my arm. Jessica giggled at me for zoning out.

“I know all these stories, Sebastian. You need to get some new ones if you want to keep my attention.” I did a little stretch to help clear my head.

“Or maybe you should stop drooling over your lady friend,” Sebastian shot back while Jessica and I both fidgeted and avoided eye contact. Before I could protest, he had already turned back to Jessica. “Where was I?”

“The Cossack,” she said, still blushing.

“Yes! Rudolph Klondike! Delightful man, but a terrible actor. He started his career as a wrestler out of Idaho known as ‘The Railsplitter,’ and his Russian accent was atrocious. All his dialogue had to be dubbed. Total sweetheart, though. In the scene where he and I dueled, he forgot the blocking and smacked me in the head with the sword. I flew across the room and⁠—”

He slapped his hand on the table for effect.

“—I blacked out. When I woke up in the hospital, I found that mountain of a man, weeping at the foot of my bed, while a gorgeous nurse tended to my wounds.”

I knew what was coming next, having heard the story dozens of times. Somehow I was still drawn in by Sebastian’s story telling. His eyes lit up, and his smile widened. “And that, my dear Jessica, is how I met my wife of thirty years.”

Jessica had been laugh-snorting through the story until the very end when her expression changed into that of a wide-eyed romantic. “Ohhhh. That’s adorable.”

“The movie may have bombed, but I loved every second. It was the experience of a lifetime and gave me the love of my life,” Sebastian declared. He placed his hand on Jessica’s arm. “Now tell me my dear, you must have some questions for me. All fans do.”

A sly grin grew on her face. “Do you have any good stories about Daniel?”

I choked on my drink. “Don’t even think of it,” I warned Sebastian.

“Oh, Daniel is the consummate professional–never a line dropped, or a mark missed,” Sebastian began.

With those words I knew my most embarrassing moments were about to be revealed. I sighed and rubbed my forehead, trying to hide my face. “Here we go.”

“However, there was the time he did a spit take in the middle of my monologue while we were both on stage,” he said, scratching his chin as if trying to recall the moment.

I rolled my eyes at him. “You mean the night you switched out the pitcher of water for vodka,” I reminded him, which sent Jessica into a fit of giggles.

“Well, a real actor would have pretended it was water,” Sebastian retorted. “But that’s the only story I have of him.”

Jessica didn’t believe him for a second. “Oh, really?” she asked, hanging on his every word.

“Except for his final performance of Guys and Dolls when he fell in the orchestra pit.”

Jessica almost fell out of her chair laughing. “He did not!”

“Right at the climax of ‘Luck be a Lady Tonight.’”

“In my defense, they rearranged the entire stage the night before,” I protested, my face burning.

“They didn’t move the orchestra pit, Daniel,” Sebastian deadpanned, sending Jessica into another round of laughter. She gasped, trying to catch her breath.

“Are you done?” I asked her, not hiding my own amusement.

She stood up, breathless, and smiled at me. “Excuse me, I need a moment,” she said, delicately excusing herself from the table.

As soon as she walked away, Sebastian seized my arm with an iron grip. “Have you told her?”

“Told her what?” I asked, genuinely confused.

“That you love her, of course,” Sebastian scolded me.

My mouth dropped open in shock.

He patted me on my cheek and pushed my mouth closed with his index finger. “Stop gaping, dear boy, you look like a flounder.”