Page 82 of In the Frame

“Yeah. He’s going to turn it into flats.” My tone is flat. The shock’s since worn off, but the knowledge doesn’t cut any less. “Even knowing how much it means to me. He sees a business opportunity, and all I can see are my friends suffering because of his selfishness. Like couldn’t he pick any other building in Brighton? Why the Rose? I hate it.”

Mum pushes her auburn hair back over her shoulder. “Well, if I can hazard a guess here, your friends are resilient. It’s a setback to lose the space, and a big one, but they will find other spaces. They’ll find a way to make it through if they want to work as artists. Unfortunately, there’s a long history of artists being pushed out of affordable spaces by developers. In Brighton and London and around the world. They’re not the first, and unfortunately not the last either.”

“Yeah. I know. But it doesn’t make it better. Not when it’s this space and this particular developer. Florian knows how important the Rose is to me. It’s everything. And I can’t get over that he’s been there, met my friends, and he’s still going ahead with his plan.” I tremble.

Mum’s quiet, thoughtful. “There can be both, you know. The business development and also having a relationship. If you would like.”

I swallow hard, searching her eyes. “He’s given me two tickets for Glyndebourne. He says I can take someone else. Like you, Mum, if you want to come with me.” It’s better not to address the relationship word, left hanging in the air. Like it floats there, and someone else might claim it and carry on worrying on my behalf. Meanwhile, I feel half out of my body. Everything reels. The wrongness of it all is overwhelming. And it feels like I’m responsible. Like I’m betraying my friends with all of my heart.

“I’ll be happy to go to Glyndebourne with you. If that’s what you want.” She gazes at me.

“I don’t know if I want to see him again.” My eyes brim with tears. Everything’s wrong. And Mum doesn’t see how wrong.

Mum smiles wryly as she cradles her tea between her hands. “You’ve just painted his portrait.” She glances over at the painting. “You’ll see him.”

I gaze at it, too, before I realize I’m crying. Mum comes over to give me a big hug, despite me warning her I might have paint on me. “I really like him, and it’s all supposed to be fake.”

She rubs my back instead of asking for an explanation or pointing out that I’m contradicting myself about what I want. When I straighten, I wipe my eyes on the cuff of my coveralls. I allow myself a momentary cry, but instead of feeling better, I feel worse. But I have to get it together. I shove the unwelcome feelings away.

“Better?” Mum asks.

“I don’t know. But I should go to get ready for Brighton this afternoon. I’m meeting Noah for lunch.” Getting away from here will have to help, as will seeing Noah.

“That sounds perfect.”

Mum heads out, and I go about getting ready to leave. I wash my face with cold water to chase away any lingering tears. And when I’m ready, I head for the train and Brighton.

Chapter Forty-Six

I meet Noah at the Rose, about five minutes away from the pub for lunch, and another five minutes away in the opposite direction of his flat. Noah gives me a big hug on sight after he lets me into his studio. He grabs his wallet, and we soon head downstairs to the main floor, past a common area where a sign-making station’s set up.

Ellie glances up from painting a sign. She grins at me, paintbrush in hand. “Hey, Matty. Good to see you.”

“What’re you up to?” I ask.

“Saving the Rose. Obviously.” She beams at me.

It’s like I’ve been sucker punched. And I feel a little nauseous. It’s the empty stomach, I tell myself.

“We’re all making signs,” Noah explains. “For an event.”

“And to put around Brighton,” Ellie adds, leaning over her board to touch up some letters in red acrylic paint. She considers her lettering and glances over at me. “Raise awareness. And money. You know.”

“Yeah.” I swallow hard, torn between my friends and Florian and upset I’m even in this position. “I get it.”

“We’re off for lunch. Come by the pub later if you’re free,” Noah tells Ellie, then claps my shoulder. “Let’s go.”

Before long, we’re down at the pub, seated at a picnic table with pints. Noah grins at me. “Hey, stranger. We’ve all been wondering how you’re doing.”

I feel a little wrung out from the morning and shrug. “I’m living in Glynde right now. Got sacked from my job.”

“That’s where you are, not how you are. I know the difference, mate.” Noah lifts his eyebrows. “You got sacked? Shit, man.”

“Yeah. Bit of a disaster.” I shake my head. “My boss had it out for me.”

“And now what?”

I shake my head slowly. “I don’t know. I feel a little lost, to be honest.”