Page 90 of Left In The Dark

His head slowly bobs, eyes not opening as he says, “I thought it would get me back with you.”

“Oh, piglet.” Why didn’t I see the correlation before? He’d hurt himself and I’d come running. I wanted him to need me, didn’t I? The idea sounded better in my head. Some are meant to stay there. This should have stayed there. “I was going to come back.”

“Yes, but not for days, and you only come back while I’m sleeping. In the house it’s different. In the house, you only leave me when you need to go to the store.”

“I have to go back to work tomorrow. How else am I supposed to afford more brownies and hot chocolate for our nightly reads?”

His eyes hold a bit of sparkle as he opens them. “You . . . you’re going to read to me today?”

“Of course I will. Gotta keep your mind off the pain somehow. I was hoping we’d go for a walk later too, but we can’t do that anymore, can we?”

His head wavers from side to side, his lips tuning down a little. “I messed things up for us again.”

My heart cracks and I brush away the tears from his eyes. “Hey. This is on me again. I should have been here when you woke up. I thought you’d be safe once the heater was moved, but I didn’t consider the other dangers.”

“Will you have dinner with me today?”

“Yeah.” I rub his neck and stroke under his chin. “We’ll have bath time too. It’ll be more of a challenge, but we’ll make it work.”

“Are you still letting me go soon?”

“Not as soon as I’d planned to, but as soon as you’re healed enough to walk on your own, yes.”

“Can you read to me now?”

“Sure.” My lips curve a little in the corners. I made the hole around the mouth bigger so he could see my lips better, and in the hope he’d touch his to mine again. “I have to take care of a few things first, but I’ll grab the book on my way back here.”

“Okay.” His eyes flutter and I card my fingers through his hair.

“You look tired. Take a short nap and I’ll be back before you know it.”

I’m standing all the way up but he grabs my wrist. “You haven’t kissed them better yet.”

“Huh?” I lower my stance again.

“My legs. They can’t get better until you do. Like the splinter in my hand.”

“Ah. Right. The magical touch.” I kiss the gauze on his hand, moving my lips to each of his scratches before reaching his first leg. I press my lips to the right one first and then the left. “There. Should heal faster now.”

The corners of his mouth shake. “Thank you.”

My heart flutters and warmth bursts inside me. “You’re welcome, sweet boy.”

“Piglet,” he corrects. “I think that’s who I want to be when you come back.”

“Then you will be.” What I don’t say out loud is that I’ll also keep seeing him as mine as long as he stays. And if he keeps doing things to make that last longer, then it must mean that’s what he wants too. There isn’t much I can do if that’s what he really wants. What if he hurts himself after I let him go and no one does what I do to help him get better? Keeping him with me may be better than letting him go after all. I can be better for him here. I can be what he deserves from here on.

Thirty-Two

Blake

He comes to check on me often like he promised he would every day that I’m in the barn, not leaving at the end of the night until I’m fast asleep. Then when his roommate is gone again, he brings me back into the house but to a different room. The blanket is a dark blue, thicker, and has that new smell when I lift it to my nose. The walls are bare and only wooden blinds cover the window, no floral curtains like the other one.

He has only a bed, two nightstands, and one tall dresser in here. His TV is anchored to the wall. The drawers closest to me are empty, but I can’t move my legs much yet. At least the new leg splints are better than the ones his friend made with what they could find around the barn. More comfortable.

The door snicks open and he smiles in his blue mask. He’s been gone for hours and I’ve been watching the clock on the wall the whole time I’ve been awake. He left a remote on the bed so I could watch whatever I wanted, along with my MP3 player, his Walkman, and my Kindle. I haven’t been in the mood for any of that, though, not when I keep thinking about my time here having an expiration date.

Breaking my legs bought me more time here, and I can’t believe I’m thinking of other ways I can delay him setting me free. Twisted, fucked-up things. My body hurts from what I did, but the ache in my chest from him not wanting me here was worse pain.