Page 78 of Left In The Dark

My skin is tight and my head rocks from side to side as my vision blurs. He’s kneeling next to me, pouring cool liquid on my cheek, and I bite back a scream. It stings before giving me temporary relief, and he empties the rest of the contents from the bottle in his hand onto my cheek. He then spreads something’s slimy on my skin and lays some gauze on top.

“That wasn’t smart, you know that? I don’t understand why you’d want to hurt yourself in that way. I don’t know if I can trust leaving the heater in here anymore, but if I don’t, you could freeze to death. A storm is coming this weekend.”

I blink my eyes slowly and turn my face to look at him.

He has the blue mask on. It brings out the brightness in his eyes every time. They’re watering as he stares down at me. Is he truly worried about me?

He tugs at the top of his mask. “I’ll have to bring you into the house again, but who knows what kind of shit you’ll pull in there.” His eyes dart to the chain hooked to the wall. “Unless . . . unless I can shorten the chain so you can’t reach the heater again.”

I shake my head. Oh no. Not that. I don’t want that. Can’t he see. I need him. What is he not understanding? I want to tell him that but pigs don’t talk.

“Are you wanting to make things harder for me? Is that why you hurt yourself like this? You wanted to make me angry?”

I shake my head, sitting up more, and the gauze slips from my face.

He looks down and then back at me. “Go on and tell me why you did it.”

I swallow the lump in my throat, lifting the gauze back to my burn. “Because it finally got you to talk to me again.”

His eyes hook on mine and he cups my face. “Oh, piglet. Is that the real reason?”

“And this is the most you’ve touched me in a while and . . . and I’ve missed it.” I’ve missed the validation too, and my efforts getting noticed.

“Is that the truth?”

“Yes,” I say sternly, pinning him in place with my gaze.

“You needed me that much?”

I nod.

“That need wasn’t enough for you, was it? You wanted to be more, not giving me a choice but to come as quickly as possible, didn’t you?”

“I needed it to be. I needed you.”

“I . . . after the storm passes and the snow clears, I think . . . you should be healed enough for me to let you go.”

“What?” My heart aches. “Why?”

“That was the plan all along, wasn’t it?”

“But . . . but am I better in all the other ways yet? Don’t I still need saving?”

He backs away, looking at the window. “I think you’ve come far enough to figure out how to do that on your own now.”

A sick feeling comes over me. “But I . . . it’s too soon. What if I forget how to say no and yes on my own? What if I still need to be reminded to be more mindful and considerate?”

“You won’t. I believe in you, Blake. You’ve known all along, you just let others make you feel wrong for being different from them. They are the bad people, and you’re just someone who lost your way between them all.”

“I don’t think I’m ready,” I say again, and he smiles softly.

“You might feel differently once you’re no longer here. I know you will.”

I shake my head, fighting against the covers, and he wraps his arms around me, holding me tight as I try to breathe through the tears. As I’m starting to lose consciousness, he smothers what I’m not sure is aloe vera on my skin and lifts me up in his arms as he stands. I don’t ask if he decided to take me to his house or not. It doesn’t matter where I’m going, as long as he’s coming with me.

Twenty-Six

Logan