Page 75 of Left In The Dark

He’d never risk throwing that away on me after I’ve already wasted so much of his time, but to test the waters, I ask, “Can I touch you? Please let me touch you.”

Twenty-Four

Logan

He looks up at me with the question growing louder in his eyes and my hand stops. Did I mess up somewhere? I shouldn’t have stayed so long. No way he’s figured me out when I’ve done my best to throw him in the opposite direction with every chance given. I’ve acted more attentively too, and what was once to make him think I was someone else slowly became a part of who I am when I’m with him.

My jaw locks and my breaths pick up. “Is that how a piglet is supposed to ask for things? It’s very late. We both need our rest. Tomorrow is going to be a long day for me in the freezing temperatures.”

He oinks once and lowers his head, running his fingers along my neck until they’re sliding up my mask.

“You can keep going.” It’s not the best idea I’ve had tonight, but I can’t tell him no or to wait. That’s what Logan did. I have to play the opposite and he has earned it. He’s way more than earned it, being so respectful and using manners even while mad at me.

The resentment in his eyes was so strong when I asked for his hand, but it’s mostly gone now as he strokes the hair on my chest. My heart speeds up and he removes his hand from the top of my shirt to shove it up the back of it, his fingers causing sparks to shoot up my spine. He feels so good. He tasted good too. I knew he would. Then something occurs to me. I didn’t finish washing him. The wipes won’t do the job for long and there’s less mess when I use the tub versus the bucket.

My mom will be home tomorrow, though, so I don’t know when I’ll be able to take him into the house again. I want to put my tongue on way more than his cock. His fingers slide into my jeans and then my underwear, teasing my crack. We could have had all this and more if he didn’t fuck it all up.

Why did he have to bring Hayden to the tower? Why did he make bringing him here and away from everything else necessary?

He could have come into my house for more than occasional baths and storytime. He could have been in my bed every day. Things would have to be different for that to happen. They aren’t, though. They are how they are and will always have to be this way. This won’t work long term. Keeping him like this won’t allow for it to. People will wonder where he is soon, and then what?

He rubs back up my spine and closes his eyes, his movements growing lazy as his snores slowly fill the space around us.

Why did he leave this our only option? My chest tightens and I press a kiss into his hair as I stand up with him in my arms. I place him on the mattress and cover him with his blanket, tucking it snugly around him. He makes a cute little noise in his sleep and I lie beside him. Everything slowly fades around me while the man lying beside me stays in my mind, following me into my dreams.

Luckily, I wake up before him, and he’s curled into me with a half smile on his face. He’s so beautiful, and I didn’t want to see just how much before. I stroke his cheek and he makes a face, keeping his eyes closed as I peck his nose. I quietly crawl off the mattress and take all my mess with me back to the house. I have an hour until I have to be at the academy. It really is going to be a long day for me today. I also have dinner with Jimmy after I get off work. He said he has news to share with me, and I kind of want to know if any of it has to do with Blake being missing.

I haven’t seen anything about it in the news yet. I’ve seen Hayden in passing at the feed store, and he shot me a dirty look the way he usually does, but he didn’t say a single word or seem the least bit worried about anything with the way he flirted with the cashier. He has been helping out at his grandpa’s farm. They recently hired a new ranch worker since the old man’s heart attack, but I guess he hasn’t started working yet.

I haven’t had enough free time to really delve into any of our town’s latest gossip, so hopefully my friend can catch me up later. I jump in the shower, iron my uniform, and eat breakfast before I finish getting ready for work. Before getting into my car, I drop off a plate of bacon and potatoes on the small table in the loft for when Blake is ready to eat breakfast.

It won’t be until lunchtime probably. He’s the sleep‑in type, and I no longer have to drug him to get him to sleep well either. Yeah, he still doesn’t need me enough, though, and I don’t know how much time I have to get him to where he can barely function without me. I’m not doing it to hurt him anymore but because I want him choosing me over everything every time. Over sleep, food, his family, and living outside the barn walls. And maybe it’s also to hurt him a little bit. I’m still licking my wounds from when he left me tied up half naked after hitting me with a cattle prod.

I’m also still pulling flyers off random light posts and windows of abandoned buildings in town. Hayden won’t take the pictures off his socials either, while asking his friends to share them and tagging me in the comment sections. I’ve blocked so many damn people at this point, and it’s never enough.

The black cat from the other day jumps in front of me as I’m trying to pull out of the driveway, and honking doesn’t get him to move either. Groaning, I look at the time on the radio and jump out of the car to scare him away. He runs off and walks right back to where he was when I’m strapping myself in the car. Hopefully him being there isn’t a sign of bad luck. I have to get out two more times before he finally runs off down the road.

I look at the barn doors before switching gears and speeding off my property. Blake is on my mind all damn day. His slow touches and eager sounds. I can still taste him on my lips after lunch and even after sipping on a beer at the bar of the restaurant as I wait for Jimmy to show up.

Our table is ready right as he’s walking in the front entrance, and he’s wearing faded jeans and a black Nike shirt.

“Is that how you dress when you’re celebrating something?”

He laughs, swinging an arm around me, and we follow the waitress to our table. “Yes. There’s no wrong way to dress when shit finally starts to take a turn for the better in your life.”

“If you say so.” I untuck my shirt, feeling out of place in my uniform.

“I take it you didn’t have a chance to get changed before meeting me?”

“You assume right.” I take my seat when he does, and we give the waitress our drink order. When she’s out of ear shot, I lean forward, digging my elbows into the table.

“So, this news you wanted to tell me about . . .” My words trails off and he lifts his eyes from his menu, his lips forming into a grin.

“So, is that the only reason you came out? To get all the gossip since you’re too busy to get out of the house and hear it all for yourself?”

“I came for the food too,” I deadpan, and he laughs, stroking his chin.

We’re interrupted by the waitress bringing our beers, and he waits until she leaves before continuing.