Page 66 of Left In The Dark

He didn’t ask for the bubble bath, but I felt he earned it anyway, and he had a look of gratitude on his face when I set him down in the water, appearing so serene when I washed his hair after he fell apart in front of me from the orgasm I gave him.

The memory of the sounds he made has my cock perking up as I shove his food in the microwave. I adjust myself in my pants and pull off my hoodie, feeling overheated in my kitchen. More warmth spills inside me when I remember how his eyes tilted back and his thighs shook around my hands. The microwave beeps and I let his food cool while I shove a microwave dinner in there next. They aren’t my favorite, but I’m too tired to cook a whole meal for one person.

I ate all my food after taking him back to the barn last night, so I have to settle for something less tasty now. Chicken fried steak and mashed potatoes. It’ll do. I’ve eaten worse, and I was the one who chose that myself on my last trip to the store. I’ve been stopping at a nearby sandwich shop on my lunch breaks, but I don’t have the money to always do that.

I change out of my uniform as my food heats up, putting on something more casual. Navy sweats and a plain black long-sleeve shirt. I need all my tattoos covered. I don’t want to give him anything that can be linked to me. There’s enough there as it is. The farm, the things I like, and the way I joke with him.

My food is ready when I return to the kitchen. I shove a can of Sprite in one pocket and a bottle of Heineken in the other before gathering our food in my hands. I’ve carried more up that ladder before, so I have enough confidence that I’ll get all this up there too.

I set my food on his to-go container, pressing my chin on top as I open and shut the front door to the house behind me. I keep everything in one arm and hand as I make my way back to my little piglet. Yeah, he’s mine. Might as well accept it now instead of spending more time being in denial than I already have. It would have been easier if I put my mask on before picking up the food, but of course I didn’t consider that until now. I have too much other shit on my mind, like wondering if Blake is going to need help coming again. He’s clearly gone a while without it.

Did he really not come when I told him not to? Was he really planning on waiting until he met me Saturday at the tower? There’s no way for me to find out the answer without raising suspicion, so I’ll probably never really know.

I reach the loft, tugging on my mask to cover all of my neck after placing everything on the small table. Blake crawls toward me, stopping halfway to look at me for approval to keep going. I nod while smiling.

“Go ahead and sit where you want.”

“You’re going to eat with me again?” He shifts closer to the table, tugging his food to him.

“Do you want me to?”

He nods, not meeting my eyes. Yeah, even if I were thinking of letting him go, he’s definitely not ready. He’s still unable to say what he wants without being worried how the other person will respond. He’s still worried about his answer being the wrong one. I want him to meet my gaze with certainty in his eyes as he says the word, “Yes,” out loud. Either yes or oinking twice.

“You don’t have to say yes if you don’t mean it.”

His lips rub together and he fumbles with his napkin. “I do. I don’t have anyone here during the day that I can talk to.”

“You like having someone to talk to?”

“Better than me making friends with my own shadow and white moths.”

I laugh. “I don’t know. My shadow is one of my best friends. He’s a really good listener and never disagrees with me.”

That earns me a smile from him as he’s peeling back the lid of the container. He sniffs the air, humming. “That smells so good.”

“Your stomach feel better today?”

His hand waves from side to side. “Mostly. I used the restroom again and it helped.” He looks back at the bucket, wrinkling his face. “I can empty it myself to save you the trouble.”

“And how are you supposed to do that?” I cock my head, shoving a spoon in my potatoes and twirling it around.

“I don’t know. Maybe we could go for a walk together.” He rubs at his shoulder, shrinking in on himself. “My legs are cramping a lot lately. Maybe from not moving around much.”

“You want me to take you on a walk and dump your shit out at the same time?” I snort. “And they say romance is dead.”

He rolls his eyes. “I mean . . . I . . . this—”

“I’m fucking with you. This is strictly a place for you to be better. Nothing more than that.”

He nods, and is that . . . disappointment in his eyes? Oh, Blake. Always so full of surprises. Wonderful and addicting surprises. It was clear before that he got attached easily and longed to be wanted, but I didn’t know it was this bad.

“So, a walk, huh?”

“If it’s not too much.” He stirs around his food.

Look at him being considerate and shit. Nothing like he was when I first ran into him when I got back to town. “I might be able to squeeze it in on the weekends. During the week will be hard. I’m exhausted by the time I get home and have a lot to do before bed. I also usually run at five in the morning before the sun comes up.”

“Yeah.” His nose turns up and he puts a piece of orange peel to the side. “I’ll skip the running part.”