Page 60 of Left In The Dark

He nods, inhaling deeply, and stiffens when I rub lube over his entrance. Unintelligible sounds come from him when I press the tip of the nozzle to his twitching hole. I close my eyes, taking a breath when the very sight in front of me becomes too much. Now’s not the time for dirty thoughts. Not when my boy’s in so much pain. Getting hard right now won’t do either of us any good.

Also, he’s not my boy. I need to stop thinking of him as mine. I do own him, though, don’t I? He’s in my barn with my chain around his ankle. He moves and talks when I say. He breathes because I’m allowing him to. It’s a different kind of ownership, though. He’s mine to do what I please with, but not in the way my body’s trying to convince me he is.

Focus, Logan.

I push more of the nozzle in and out, then in again, my hand tensing when he pushes back. Fuck. Why’d he have to do that? I don’t think he realizes he did it. He’s not thinking clearly and neither am I. I squeeze the bulb, not stopping until all the contents have been pushed inside his rectum. He squeezes around the intrusion, babbling nonsense, and lifts one of his knees as I’m pulling back my hand.

His stomach grumbles and he coughs before gagging. “I need to . . . I think I need to use the restroom.”

“Not yet.” I lay a hand on his hip. “It hasn’t been five minutes. The longer we wait, the better the results will be.”

His head moves from side to side, sweat covering his skin. “Five minutes is way too long. I need to go now.”

“Hold it the best you can.”

“It hurts,” he cries, and I rub his side in slow strokes.

“I know, but you’re doing so good, my little piglet. You just need to think of something else in the meantime.”

My.

I didn’t mean to let that word slip out, and once it’s out there, it’s too late to take it back. Do I want to take it back?

“Like what?” he asks, interrupting my thoughts.

“About how good that food was.”

He shakes his head, kicking one of his feet again. “I can’t think of food right now.”

Then think about how it felt when I was getting you off during your bath, I want to say, but I bite my tongue before the words can come out. “Think about what your next human request will be, then.”

“Can I say it out loud?” he mutters.

“Yeah. Sure. Whatever helps,” I encourage, and his body relaxes, along with his features.

“Books. I’d like to have stuff to read. Maybe magazines too.”

“Books? You like to read?”

“I did when I was younger, but I haven’t had a whole lot of time as an adult. My dad said I could be doing better stuff with my time when I talked about getting a library card.”

So that’s why he hated libraries. He didn’t really hate them. He was made to feel like he was supposed to. “Not sure there’s anything better than reading.”

“Do you read?” he pipes up, looking back.

“Yeah. Sometimes. Not as much as before I started my new job, but I’m slowly getting back into it before bed.”

“What kind of books?” His voice is hoarse as he arches his body. He’s trying so hard. It’ll be time for him to relieve himself before he knows it.

“I read anything and everything, just about. But right now I’m doing a re-read of Water for Elephants. It’s one of my favorites.”

“I’ve heard of the movie but I didn’t realize there was a book.”

“Both are good. Probably one of my favorite adaptations too.”

“Could you read some to me?”

“When?”