Page 4 of Left In The Dark

His flirty glances send me on a high, and I try my best to keep my eyes on the road and not on how he’s smiling at me. “So do you guys do those movie nights often?”

“Not really. I mean, we hang out every now and then, but it’s not always to watch movies. Sometimes it’s to go to the lake, the arcade, or to hang out at the park across the way from Jimmy’s house.”

“Sounds fun. I wouldn’t mind going to the lake, arcade, or park. Especially if you’re there.”

My skin heats as he rests a hand on my thigh. “Is having my hand here okay?”

“Uh‑huh,” I say, breaths catching in my throat.

“I had a lot of fun tonight. Been wanting to hang out with you outside of school for a hot minute.”

“Yeah?” I shoot him a side glance, my hands sweating against the wheel.

“Yeah.” He looks down to where his hand is sliding higher and then back at me. “Would it be cool if we hung out alone sometime too? Maybe tomorrow or Sunday?”

A jolt of electricity ziplines through me. “Yeah. Yeah I’d like that.”

“Me too.” His eyes glow in the dark and we ride the rest of the way in silence. He retracts his hand from my leg as we arrive in front of his house, and he pushes his door open, yanking off his seatbelt.

“See you tomorrow . . . or Sunday?”

“Either one works.” I face him, one side of my lips tilting. I can’t believe this is happening. Stephen wants to hang out with me. He had his hand on my leg. We rode home together. My brain feels as if it’s about to explode with all these revelations swimming through it.

“How about both?” He cocks his head, setting one foot out of the car.

“I . . . okay. I mean I have to check with my parents, but that should be fine.”

“Just text me and let me know when you’re free.”

I shuffle to find my phone and he holds a hand to my arm. “Jimmy gave me your number at school. I might have asked.” He winces. “Hope that’s not creepy.”

“No, not creepy,” I say almost too quickly.

“Cool. I’ll text you when I get inside so you’ll have my number too.”

“That works. Night.”

As I’m turning my eyes back to the road, he hooks his fingers around my chin and leans into me, connecting his lips to mine. The kiss is short, and my tongue vibrates as his sweeps across it. My body feels like mush as I’m melting against him, swallowing a whimper. “Night, Logan.”

I wait until he steps all the way out and is inside his house before letting out a yelp of excitement. When I get home, I can’t stop smiling, and I touch my lips as I’m lying down in bed. I close my eyes, picturing his face coming toward mine again. I can’t stop either, looking forward to more goodbye kisses tomorrow and on Sunday.

They happen too, and continue throughout the rest of the year. And not just when we part, but also when we greet each other, during our own movie nights, at Jimmy’s graduation party, and the first night we sleep in the same bed together . . . The hardest kiss to break away from is when he crashes his lips to mine in my car before I make the four-hour drive to campus. There are promises of seeing each other in the summer and lots of Skype calls. I get to enjoy some of that, but before the first semester can end my bad luck is back, or more like Blake is back to making my life hell from a different city. My last call to Stephen is answered by mistake, with the two of them wrestling naked together on the bed showing up on the screen.

Here I thought things would change. That all I had to do was leave town and I’d be happy. Happy and free of Blake Mitchell. Unfortunately, life isn’t always that easy. Especially not mine.

One

Logan

Traffic stands still and I lean back in my seat, trying to keep my eyes open. It’s been a long day. I had to pack up my dorm, play a game of Tetris with my stuff in order to fit it all in my car, and now I’m reaching the end of my four-hour drive home. I’m not supposed to be back here yet, and any trip I made here wasn’t supposed to be permanent. I had one year left of college before getting to move on to law school, but those dreams have been shattered.

Mom says I can still go back later and try again once everything has settled down and my mind is in a better place, but I’m starting to think this is all happening for a reason. That maybe I’m not supposed to be a lawyer and sit behind a desk while working long, tiring hours every day. Maybe I’m not supposed to get away from farm life. Either way, I’ll be damned if I’ll be working with my dad now.

I looked into other options last night while I tossed and turned in bed. I could still work for the justice system somehow, and the more I thought about joining the police academy, the more appealing the idea became. I need to come up with fast options, especially because my mom doesn’t work and she’s worried about coming up with money to keep the lights on once my dad fully moves out.

I was left tongue-tied when my mom told me what my dad’s been doing on his lunch breaks the last couple of months. Video chatting with younger men and sending them money while struggling to keep their bills paid.

And low and behold, one of them just so happens to be the man who won’t disappear from my life and stop taking everything he can from me. Fuck Blake. Would any distance I put between us ever be enough? Does it even matter where I am at this point? He finds a way to reach me either way. My grades were slipping as it was, and financial aid had alerted me about being in the danger zone. It was stupid to be so heartbroken over a guy. A year should’ve been enough to get over Stephen, but every time I stumbled upon something reminding me of him, I went right back into mourning a relationship that only I was giving one hundred percent to.