Page 2 of Bonded

It’s not enough. It will never be enough.

My gold hair wisps around my face from the chilly breeze as I stand up and look around at the ruined island we found. It is tiny, with only what were probably two or three houses and a farm. The houses are smashed in places, the brick outline only just about showing what this must have looked like. It’s clear no one has stepped foot on this island in many, many years. We passed many islands like this, all in ruins, but this place caught my eye. What made it special, what I liked about it, was the flowers. They’ve grown everywhere, climbing over the ruins of the buildings with their long petals and jewel-like centres. They’re the most beautiful sunset colours. Some light oranges, some more burnt oranges and yellows. Others almost tinted pink at the ends. They are beautiful, and Tannith—she would have loved them.

I walk around the island picking flowers, every one the nicest I can find, before tying them together with some old rope and going back to her grave. I drop to my knees, placing the bouquet of flowers on top of the dirt. I haven’t said a word yet, and I should. It’s a funeral…and people say shit. Like, they ask the goddesses to welcome the dead home, but now that I know the bitches, I’m not asking them for shit. Well, maybe to stay the fuck away from Tannith’s soul.

I rub my neck, knowing there is a mark there. I haven’t even seen it yet. I blow out a breath. “I’m sorry, Tannith. Especially because you’re stuck with me doing your funeral speech, and we both know I lack any kind of poetic nice shit to say.”

I can’t do anything now, and I couldn’t do anything before. No one could do anything to save her. It feels hard to breathe as the guilt threatens to swallow me up whole. “Hell, I began your funeral speech apologising, when you often told me off for saying sorry to everything. Sorry doesn’t feel like it’s even a good enough word, and yet it is all I can find myself saying right now, and I hope you’re smiling. Or cursing me. You were brilliant and so much better than me, Tannith. You said at the end, you wanted to be brave like me, but I wanted to be everything you were. I didn’t get a chance to tell you, but it’s true. You were the smart, ambitious, wild and brilliant friend I was so lucky to find. You should be in my shoes right now, and you’d have some amazing plan to get revenge and have a wicked life. My plans usually involve curling up into a ball and pretending to be dead.”

I wince. Not the right joke. “But I promised I’d try; you made me promise and I kind of hate you for making me be brave. That’s a lie. No, I don’t hate you, I fucking loved you. So much.” I sob once. “You are with your parents now, and one day, I will be with you too. Time was not given in the human district; we all knew it was borrowed or a second away from being stolen by the shifters. For what it is worth now, I’m so happy a big part of my life and time was spent being your best friend.”

I bow my head and weep. I scream to the sky, to the goddesses and any fucker up there, that this isn’t fair. I don’t want this. I didn’t choose this and I want her back. No one replies. There is just a grave and silence left for me. I don’t know how long I cry, but my eyes sting when I hear him come back. I doubt he ever let me out of his sight. My monster…except he is more than that now. He is Zyran Nightward, and I unleashed him. I don’t know what that even means, but it felt like the only way to escape with Tannith at the time.

The sun is bright and high in the sky as he stands behind me, casting a dark shadow. “Love, it isn’t safe here. None of these islands are safe. It is time to leave for the Oblivion court.”

I look up at him. Love. He always calls me that, as if we have known each other long enough for that word to have meaning. All I feel is numb and empty—Tannith is gone. “As it turns out, no one’s safe anywhere. Look at my best friend!” I wave at the ground, at her grave. I can’t even look at Zyran as I stand up. “She’s dead. She’ll never be back to her mortal self again, and it is all my fault! She’ll never have anything she ever wished for. Why don’t I just stay here and⁠—”

He grips my chin and forces me to look at him. “Don’t you dare tell me you want to die alongside her!” he snarls. “You are mine, Meredith Duskmore. You will not wish for death because you feel lost. I know what it is like to grieve, to feel like that emptiness will swallow you up, and I will not let you sink into it. You are cared for, you have more than a grave, and I am here. Scream at me, shout and curse me, but don’t you fucking dare give up.”

Meredith Duskmore. That is not my last name. It’s fair he might not know it; we have a weird possessive friendship that has been made from just horny dreams until this point.

I push him away. “You cannot control my thoughts and wants, Zyran.”

“Want to bet on that? You and I need to get to know each other better. I am not just the monster in your dreams anymore,” he purrs in my ear, sending shivers down my spine. I turn, but he has stepped back, and he is leaning against a ruined house with just his shoulder. “There are dangers outside of the districts that none of the wolf fools there even know about. Where I’m taking you, it’s safe…for now. Safer than any of the districts. Outside of the city of Void, this world is not safe.”

“The city of Void?” I question.

He nods once. His eyes are sparkling black diamonds, glittering with flecks like stars as they focus on me. I run my eyes over him, over his grey skin and muscular body that is huge. His tartan skirt moves around his knees, a white shirt tucked into it, and a black cloak falls down his back between his wings. His wings twitch as I watch him, well aware he is watching me right back.

Gargoyle, that’s what he is, but other than that…what do I know? He’s a good kisser…and good with his hands. But I’m not sure those are good reasons to trust him at all. Neither is the fact he is beyond handsome. “I know you needed to bury your sister, and I gave you that time, but we must leave now, love.” He seems to search for the right words. “There is a reason all we have seen is ruined islands. You’re not in the right state, not trained, not well enough to fight. I will defend you, but if they come in a group⁠—”

“Who?” I cut him off. I need more explanation than this.

“There’s much we need to talk about, but I do not think you’re in the correct frame of mind to be receiving more information that could scare you.” His tone is gentle, but it just pisses me off. “There is time for that.”

“You know what? I’m not leaving this island. I trusted you because I had no other choice. It was either that or go back with the heirs, who lied to me and let her die.” I shout it at him and my heart hurts. Actually physically hurts. They knew. The bastards knew Tannith was going to die, and I was fighting in the Folkland for nothing. I only did it to save her, just for her, and I became the Champion. I won, and I chose to save their lives at the end because I lov—no. Whatever that feeling was between us all is now as dead as Tannith. Fuck them.

I stand up and walk away, stomping through the flower beds and only stopping at the edge of the field. I look down at the sea to calm myself. It doesn’t work. Something that looks like shadows appears at my feet and sinks into the sand.

He walks up to my side. He never really left me. He never has. “I am yours, and I am not those weak wolves. I am not going to betray or hurt you.” His growl feels like a warning. For them or for me? “I will make them pay for betraying you. The world is going to pay…”

“Not if I get to them first,” I warn him, and something like a low growl echoes out my throat. I blink in surprise… I can growl now? What the actual fuck? I have powers now and I’m not some weak human, but I have changed. I don’t even know what I am, but I know I won’t let them trick me again. My voice shakes. “But I don’t think I can trust anyone except for her, and she’s gone.”

“You can trust me.” He says it so plainly, so openly. Like trusting him is the easiest thing in the world. It’s not for me. I don’t let people in, I don’t trust people, and now I’m simply meant to just trust him?

“Why? Why should I trust you?” I lift my chin and stare up at him. He meets my challenging gaze with one of his own. “What did you say when you told me your name? Where are you taking me?”

“You have family,” he murmurs, his hand lifting.

“I don’t have family anymore.” I shake my head. Tannith was it.

“Yes, you do, and you always have done. Many people have been looking for you for a long time—twelve years, to be exact—and here comes the point when you have to decide what you want. Do you want to be angry and furious—at them, at the heirs? Then so be it. There are many ways you can hit them where it hurts; just like they took from you, you can take from them. Especially from the position of who you actually are in this world. If you don’t come with me, you’ll still just be a human who won the Folkland. We can hide and do whatever you want—but I do not think that will be enough for you. Some power comes with the title as Champion, and it is yours. I don’t think you want to walk away from it.”

I don’t. I burnt, drowned, and fought the earth to survive, and the title of Champion is all I have left.

“But, as I’ve heard, every single one of you has ended up dead in the districts. I will not let that happen to you.” He looks at me steadily. “You have power now. You’re not human anymore…you never were. You saw what you did to those mountains. You levelled them with your untamed power. You’re more powerful than all of those alphas put together, and with your title and your family behind you, there’ll be no limit to what you can do and what you can have. I will destroy the world if you ask, but you can do that all on your own, love.” His gaze softens as he continues to look me in the eye. “What would Tannith tell you to do now?”

I almost laugh. Tannith? She would love this. “Tannith would find this amazing. She would tell me to rescue the humans, to start a war, become vengeful and angry for all the shit I’ve seen growing up in the human district. She’d tell me to kill the Crone alpha in revenge and not to let you out of my sight.” I close my eyes briefly. “Tannith would tell me to stop wallowing and mourning her. But she’s not here and life was never promised to either of us. I did all of this for her freedom, and I only got mine in the end. The Folkland, everything I had to do there, all the pain—I did it for her. Because I wanted her to live in the end. She deserved that. I was never a good person. It was always her, and now? It has to be me.”