Page 16 of Bonded

Elizabeth smiles at me. “We aren’t all good at trusting people, huh?”

“No.” I rub my arm. “But I trust you. Tannith always hated that you and I were friends, until the end.” I clear my throat. “Illyia kind of grew up with us.”

“In a sense.” Illyia settles herself across the room on a chair by the empty fireplace. “My family’s house was a little way down from the orphanage.”

Sorrow settles in my chest as I remember the burnt-out building I grew up in. The twenty-four lives that were lost when the Crone alpha decided to burn the place down. Now he’s used a child—ironically—to save his own life. A child that Blackfire is clearly fond of, who ran in crying over my accidentally throwing her cousin across the room. I can’t kill her, and the Crone alpha knows it. He damn well knows I have a soft spot for children, and he used it to make sure he is safe. But I’m not giving up. He will die. When I get back to Void City, I am going to read every book in the throne room until I find a way to break the binding marks. The ones on the heirs and my neck were gone when we were made into Champions, so even though I don’t know how to replicate that, there has to be a way.

I manage to pull my focus back to what Illyia’s saying. “We used to go to school together, but I would always sneak back to the orphanage with Mere and Tannith whenever I got the chance. My parents always made way too much food for lunch, and I know they did it on purpose so I could give them both some.”

“Your family are good and kind.” I blow out a breath. “That’s why you should probably return to them. It’s safe now in the human district. My people are left there to guard it, and there’s enough food now and new seeds to plant for the coming spring. No one is going to starve. The sea is also part of the shadow barrier around the district now, so fishing shouldn’t be an issue. If there are any problems, that’s what the guards are there for.” I look at Illyia and, whoa, she is angry.

“No.” She shakes her head. “I…I don’t belong there and, to be honest, I haven’t in a long time. I owe you my life, Meredith, and I know I am meant to be at your side. I’m not Tannith, but I have your back and I know you well. Please don’t send me away.”

My shoulders drop. “I’m not making you do anything, Illy. I just want you to be prepared that every step I take is dangerous. Just coming here is telling every one of those alphas you mean something to me, and they can use you. The only safe place is your home.”

“I don’t want safe.” She shrugs. “I want more…I’ve always felt like I’ve been waiting for more.”

Elizabeth looks at her, and something flashes across her eyes. Maybe an understanding? I’m not sure, but I nod and Illyia sighs in relief. She smiles. “You’re the new leader there and maybe should probably be there too if you need a break from all of the crazy.”

“I didn’t take it over to be a leader, though.” I gnaw on my lip. “And for me, it’s full of ghosts that I don’t want to face.”

There is a tense silence between us all. Illyia knows what happened to me; she helped Tannith with my bandages on the bad days when all I did was scream from the pain of the burns. She sang to me, I remember that. She has a really good voice.

Elizabeth changes the subject. “What are you, then, Mere? With the fangs, the pale skin, the dark nails, and you don’t smell like a shifter. My wolf thinks you smell like the night.”

“I’m a creature of Oblivion. I’m not human, not exactly. I can call shadows and speak to them.” I do it now, letting a small amount of them flow around my fingers and up my palm. They whisper in riddles. Elizabeth watches with wide eyes. “But I’ve only been training for a month, and I’m not fully in control.” The shadows blink away. “My brother, who’s been training me, says that emotions control the shadows and therefore control the destruction that oblivion can bring. I have to keep my emotions in check.” I sigh. “Which is interesting when I’m grieving and a mess.”

“If you can control them even a little when you’re at your worst…just think what you will be when you are healed.” The warmth in Elizabeth’s eyes makes me almost want to cry. “And with powers or not, you’ve always been a wild force of nature, Mere. Embrace it a little. Let these alpha bastards feel fear for once in their long lives.”

Illyia fist-pumps the air. “Amazing plan!” I blink, seeing red strings dancing around the air, and they are all stretching towards Illyia. When I blink, they are gone.

I rub my eyes. Great, I’m seeing things again. “It’s hard being back here. This is where she was. This is where she was turned. This is where I promised her I’d get her out, and seeing you both is just two more friends that I’m probably going to let down. I think I need to be alone for a bit.”

“No, you’re not going to let us down.” Illyia stands and walks to me. “And I don’t imagine Tannith ever expected you to find an answer or key to her freedom. No one born in the human district ever thought they were owed a life of freedom. We all know we were born as slaves to our masters—until you freed us all. You might not have been able to change her fate, but you changed all of theirs, and now it is time you lived. You were both given a mission that had no clear end. How were you ever meant to win?”

Illyia looks at me steadily. When I don’t respond, she continues, “I knew Tannith too. Extremely well, and she just loved you. You were her sister in every sense of the word. Not once would she have blamed you for this. Not once.” She pauses. “I was there after you stabbed that dagger through that wolf’s foot. Do you know what she said outside when Bane was dragging both of us away? She said she was so proud of you. That you had stood up when none of us did. Ever. That you weren’t scared or fearful. She was just proud of you.”

I give her a shaky nod, a sob building in my throat. I know she’s telling the truth. Grief’s a funny thing. One minute you can be fine—taking over a huge portion of land with your brother’s shadow army and nearly murdering a fire alpha. The next minute, you feel nothing but sorrow, like you’ve fallen into a well and can’t stop falling. Illyia and Elizabeth are throwing ropes…but I can’t reach. Not yet. I hope they don’t give up.

“How about we go and get some food? I don’t know if you’ve eaten.” Elizabeth sees right through me.

“That would be great.” I want cake, ice cream and everything with a calorie count higher than the sky. I need carbs; they make me happy. I watch them go off together, and I realise quickly they’re probably going to be good friends. I go back to the window, looking out over the red tiles and the rooftops, how they glitter in the sunlight. My eyes drift over to the far-reaching ports, the sea, and what I know lies far beyond in another direction. Void City. My birthplace and my home. It is my home, right?

Something drifts down my spine. An awareness. Like I always feel now when one of them is too close. I guess that’s what happens when you give up three parts of your soul.

I smell him first—maple syrup and alcohol—long before I turn around and face him.

“Orion,” I breathe his name out. He’s standing still, dirt dripping off his clothes, crushed leaves on his shoulders. There is a hole in the floor where he got in without Zyran spotting him. But Zyran will come soon; his shadows will see and hear if I scream. Orion’s soft dark hair is a mess, and he has a shadow of stubble across his face he’s never had before. He looks as wild as the earth itself, but still hauntingly beautiful. It’s really unfair that he has such a pretty face and such a sharp mouth to go with it. I clear my throat, willing my heart to stop beating so fast. It’s not in fear, not in anger, and I hate myself for reacting this way to this prick. “I want to be alone, Orion.”

“And that’s a problem.” He taps his chest once with his finger. “In here—I can hear you, feel you. Every inch of you at all times. You gave up your soul, three parts of it, and one of them is right in here, echoing at me. Your pain is mine too, reminding me of it over and over.”

“Good for you. You deserve to feel it, asshole.” My mouth parts when I take in what he said. He can feel my soul? Bad luck, it’s fucked up.

Light sparks in his forest-green eyes. “There she is. That sharp mouth, that biting attitude that makes me hard. I was worried you were grieving so much that the Meredith I’d grown accustomed to had all but faded away. That would be no fun.” He looks at me with something I can’t quite put a finger on. I can’t believe he is taunting me. That he would stoop so low.

“That’s what happens when someone you love dies!” I shout at him. “Get the fuck out, Orion.”

“I know.” I don’t make a move as his admission is soft…revealing. “I was different too, before I lost my brothers and my father. Death changes you, but I won’t let you become what I am now.”