Page 86 of Tempting Fate

“No, that’s not—”

He leaves the room before I can explain, and I stand there, toes digging into the carpet, arms wrapped around my middle. Maybe Patch is wrong. Maybe I am, too.

I don’t get how I could be fated to be with two men who don’t appear to understand me at all.

I go to bed in the end. With a hot chocolate, courtesy of Nick, because he knows the sugar will help me come down after an attack like that, even as brief as it was. Em’s murmuring quietly in the next room, and I fall asleep half-listening, not able to make out any words, but content in the knowledge that he’s still there.

My dreams are… weird. More nightmares than dreams, really, and Patch is there and Em is there and once I wake up, I don’t remember anything beyond the fact that I couldn’t reach them, could see them but could never be close to them again.

I wake with a groan and roll onto my stomach. Em is still here, I think. I can hear movement in his room. Movement downstairs, too, which means Nick is probably making food because he might still be vaguely unhappy about all the magic stuff, but he’s going to try to take care of us.

Ugh. I have to go to work tomorrow. I have to concentrate on wrapping up my job and preparing for my new one, but I don’t feel like doing any of that at all. What if I just don’t get out of bed? Like, ever again. Nick will get fed up with feeding me eventually, I guess.

I reach for my phone. Unsurprisingly, I’ve got a bunch of texts because it’s also one in the afternoon, which means…

I sit up straight. It means everyone has had a chance to see Em’s video. My stomach churns. Sure enough, I’ve got a few confused messages from Cecile, and some from Drew and Dax and Vince, checking I’m okay.

I’m half tempted to call Dax. He has to have checked in with Patch too, right? What if they made Patch leave already? Kieran was right, like I knew I was—there’s only so much they can do to Em. But Patch? He’s one of them. He follows their rules, not ours.

Someone knocks on the door, and I almost drop my phone. Has to be Nick. I’m surprised I didn’t hear him come upstairs.

“Jamie?” It’s Em. My heart skips a beat. “Can I come in?”

I reach over and grab a T-shirt off the floor, then pull it on. “Y-yeah, okay.”

Em cautiously opens the door and peeks in. He doesn’t look like he’s slept a wink. He twitches his lips in an attempt at a smile, then slips inside, closing the door quietly behind him. “Hey. I heard you—I wasn’t sure when you’d wake up.”

“You’re not leaving today, are you?”

“I—No. Not today, no. Kieran hasn’t been in touch yet, but I spoke to Cate and when he gives the green light, she’s going to come here to help me pack and—”

“Em.”

Em’s face falls. He comes over and perches on the edge of the bed, curling his hands around the mattress. “I can’t stay here. Not after everything I’ve done.”

“Why not?” I sit up and reach for him, and when he doesn’t move away, I grab one of his hands. “You think they all haven’t done worse stuff than this?”

“I should have known better.”

I don’t think Em is listening to me at all. And I fancy I can feel some pull to him, to Patch, but then that might just be in my imagination.

“No, I did. I was so blinded by that fucking video, by the fact that I might finally find what I was looking for, that I ignored every red flag and came running down here.”

“You were looking for magic.”

“Yes.”

“You found it.”

“I didn’t want to do it like this.” His voice gets thick again and he takes his glasses off, swiping at his eyes. “Sorry. This is not why I came in here. I just wanted—You shouldn’t have had to go through that last night. I panicked. I wanted you there, and I just… I should have let you stay here.”

“Did Patch tell you anything?” I ask. “Before they got there?”

Em shakes his head. “They were pretty quick. I stopped the stream and he grabbed his phone… I think, for a second there, he wasn’t going to call them, but then he did. Axel. He called Axel.”

Axel. It’s not fair of me to dislike him, not when I don’t know him, but I don’t think he handled last night well at all. I’d give him more grace, but isn’t that literally his job?

“They didn’t hurt you or anything, did they? Scare you?”