Page 41 of Pay the Piper

“Okay, moya sila. I trust you.”

Thankfully, she falls back asleep, but I stay in my newfound in-between land. I’m terrified that if I fall asleep for one second, she’ll wake in a panic, change her mind, and leave me in the universe alone.

I’ll sacrifice as much sleep as I need to. We have murders to plan, flights to schedule, and…I don’t know how to schedule a flight. We’ll have to call her dad…and we’ll have to make her grandfather’s murder look like an outside job.

We’ll do it. She’s my queen, and I’m her strength, and nothing will ever change that.

Chapter 17

Waking up alone in a random bed isn’t new to me, but one with two trays full of breakfast is a first. It only took a few moments to remember where I was. In Misha’s bed. I didn’t start out here, though. The last thing I remember was watching reality TV on his couch. He’s gotten me hooked on his guilty pleasure watches, and I must have fallen asleep and been transferred at some point.

A ping of regret that I’m not in his sheets because he fucked me to the point of exhaustion shoots through me, but after how wonderfully he treated me, I’m sure I’ll have that chance again. That is, if he isn’t completely spooked. I mean, he’s gone, after all. My disappointment is short-lived when a glance at the clock confirms it’s still barely morning. That, along with the note I spy, eases any lingering concern.

Lesnaya,

I’m so sorry I won’t be here when you wake up. I waited until the absolute last minute to leave, but I have some important business to attend to. I hoped I would get to say goodbye before I left, but you were sleeping so beautifully that I couldn’t bear to wake you. I’ll be gone for the night but back in time for our skate practice tomorrow. Please feel free to stay and make yourself at home. You’ll be living in my head until I can see you again.

Yours,

Misha

P.S. I didn’t know what you’d be in the mood for, so I just made you everything. And don’t say a cup of coffee would be fine. You need more fuel than that in the morning.

P.S.S. I already called the library and let them know you’re not feeling well. Enjoy your day off, beautiful.

Wow, yesterday was…wow.

Not only did Misha hold me and calm me down from my panic attack, but he held me all afternoon while we watched TV. He never once tried to do anything physical. His words, his touch, even his gaze never went beyond friendly. It was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before. He gave with no expectation of a return, putting my emotional needs before all else, even at the height of his desire. No other man I’ve known would ever have done that.

I don’t even know where my panic attack came from. Yes, I’m drugged more often than not, but even sober, I don’t freak out anymore when Conor or his friends take from me. Maybe it’s because I’ve been numb to it all, but with Misha, I feel. I feel everything I shouldn’t: lust, desire, happiness, joy. I care for him. More than anyone should ever care about someone they’ve only known for a few weeks. And after yesterday, I feel less foolish for thinking that his feelings might run even deeper than my own.

Grinning, I pull one of the trays of food toward me and immediately go for the beautiful stack of pancakes. I would normally bypass anything too carby and eat lean protein, but I’m glad I don’t because fuck, these are incredible. I haven’t had a pancake in years, but I know these are as good as they come. Okay, Misha, I see your game.

If the orgasms he gave me yesterday and the way he treated me tenderly weren’t enough, this breakfast seals the deal. The last of my reservations resolves as I recount everything he’s done to make me feel comfortable and cherished. There may be hell to pay for this later, but for now, all my problems are thousands of miles away, and exploring Misha has become my primary mission here in Thunder Bay.

“Holy shit, look at you!” Ellie’s praise is perhaps a little too genuine, with eyes wider than I’ve seen before.

After deciding that Misha was my sole purpose in Thunder Bay, I texted Ellie to see if she wanted to go shopping, and she immediately responded with an all-caps affirmative. I have a decent wardrobe but nothing spectacular. It’s all things Conor chose that don’t fit my natural complexion or hair at all. Not to mention, his style has always been a bit garish.

“Wow, I didn’t realize I looked so bad before,” I say, half joking, as I get my first look in the mirror.

Okay, I might understand her reaction. Damn. I do look insane in this dress. It’s in my favorite color, emerald green. Mom always said it was her favorite color because it was the color of my eyes, and of course I copied everything she liked when I was a kid. Conor never dressed me in green. With the fake blonde hair and fake tan, it wasn’t the most flattering. He would go for red, black, or blue sometimes, but never green.

“I think you’re absolutely beautiful, and I mean that with all my heart. But this dress is beyond. Every woman should have a wow dress. I have one that Nonna picked out for me. It’s what I wore on my first date with Teddy and well…” She pauses and places a hand on her baby bump as a blush spreads across her cheeks. “It worked.”

“Wait…You got pregnant on the first date?” Somehow, I thought this happened later in their relationship. “Hey, you go, girl!”

“Oh no! Not that I have any issue with getting some on a first date, but I would be way more careful than that. I have enough common sense to use a condom the first time—” Ellie’s blush spreads to her entire face as her demeanor changes. “I mean, accidents happen…I guess.”

“Mm-hmm, sure you would.” I try to hide my reaction, but I can’t help smirk at my salacious friend.

I’m no better than she is. I’ve replayed yesterday with Misha over and over in my mind, and every time I fantasize about how he would feel stretching me open, he’s not wearing a condom either. Conor and his friends always wear one, even though I have an IUD. He really doesn’t want me to get pregnant. I’ve thanked whatever gods exist for that small grace. But with Misha, well, we need to have the talk he mentioned because I do want to feel him. I want to feel every inch of him against me, the cool metal of his piercing, his cum painting my walls…

“Abby?” Ellie’s snapping brings me out of my lustful reverie.

Fuck. “Huh?”

“I asked who the guy was!” she says with a laugh.