Page 113 of After Midnight

We’re sitting on my living room floor together, boxes of sushi and spicy edamame and golden tofu sprawled between us. And before I can talk myself out of it, I tell her, “There’s something else.”

“Oh my god,” Riley says, her eyes going wide. “You’re pregnant, aren’t you?”

I let out a sudden laugh and shake my head, trying not to choke on the edamame I just ate. “No. Seb rented me a space. In LA. For me to open a pole studio.”

A roll of sushi halfway to her mouth, Riley narrows her eyes at me. “He what?”

I grab my phone from where it fell between the couch cushions, then pull up the photos I took of the space that night Seb took me to see it. Riley shoves the sushi into her mouth, then starts scrolling through the photos. I expect her to squeal or scream or kick her feet or something. But she surprises me when she just lowers the phone and levels a serious look at me.

“This,” she says, holding the phone up and pointing to it, “is amazing. It could be the start of something new for you. You’ve talked about opening your own studio for years.” Slowly, she lowers the phone, her brows pulling low over her eyes. “Rem, you’re not holding yourself back for me, right? Because of Caltech?”

I open my mouth, then have to stop whatever excuse was just going to come out. Because I want to be honest with her right now—and with myself.

“Maybe,” I say. “But it’s more than that. It’s this city—I love Vegas. And it’s this condo. I bought this with my own money, you know? And . . . And what if things don’t work out with Seb, and I uproot my life for nothing?” I find tears coming into my eyes, and I can’t remember the last time before tonight that I cried in front of Riley. I always try to be strong for her, steady, someone she can depend on. But now I’ve been brought to tears twice in one night.

She scoots over to me and puts her head on my shoulder, like she has since she was little. “Vegas will always be here. You can come back if you want. And if things don’t work out, that’s okay.” She shrugs, then sits up to look at me. “If it were me, would you tell me to let my fear control me? I mean, this is a crazy opportunity. And this guy loves you so much.” She puckers her lips at me. “Honestly, I think it’d be stupid for you not to go.”

“Hey!” I snap.

“I’m serious! Don’t be scared, Rem. You only get one life. And I think you should go live it with Seb in Cali.” Her mouth lifts into a smile. “And then I’ll meet you there this fall, and you and Seb can help me move in. I’d be the coolest kid in my dorm if I brought a rock star to move-in day.”

Rolling my eyes, I give her a little shove, and she topples over onto one of the pillows with a laugh.

“Well?” she says, then pops another cube of golden tofu into her mouth. “What do you think? Can you seriously imagine telling him no and just . . . staying here? Forever?”

For an eighteen-year-old, she has a surprisingly good point. Even if she is being just a tad bit dramatic.

I glance around my condo, around this life that I built from the ground up. Leaving something that took so much work to achieve isn’t as easy as Riley makes it out to be.

But neither is living hundreds of miles away from the man I love.

I heave a big sigh and lean back against my couch.

“I don’t know yet,” I say, even if it makes Riley frown.

Riley is quiet for a moment. After swallowing another piece of sushi, she says, “Can you promise me something, at least?”

I arch a brow at her. “Depends on what you’re about to ask.”

With one of her teenager eye rolls, she says, “Just promise me that whatever you decide, it’ll be for you. Not for me or Mom and Dad or Grandma. You’re always looking out for us, Rem.” She pokes me with her bare toes, and her lips pull up into a soft smile. “Whatever you do next, do it for you.”

I stare at my little sister, this girl who’s becoming more of a young woman every day. And then I nod. “Okay. I promise.”

chapter 54

Remi

CLUB CALIBER LOOKS DIFFERENT UNDER the afternoon light. The signs aren’t blazing neon against the darkness, the bouncer isn’t standing at the door, and the lot is empty instead of overflowing with vehicles. In the light of day, it’s just a quiet brick building without any windows. But to me, it’s so much more than that.

I’m parked in the employee lot, staring at the side entrance, biting my bottom lip. I promised Riley that I’d make my decision for me. But I know I can’t make that decision without returning to the place where this all started.

I step out of my Jeep and cross the parking lot. Heat rises off the asphalt, already making me sweat in the quick walk to the building. After keying my employee number into the lock next to the door, I pull the door open and step into the building. It’s dark and quiet, the only sound in the building the hum of the AC as it chases the scorching Vegas heat away.

Behind me, the door clicks closed. There’s a tightening in my chest as I recall my last night here.

James’s body pressing against mine. His hand crushing my cheeks against my teeth. The officer and the flashing lights and Seb dressing me and driving me home. My chest rises with a heavy breath, and I remind myself that it was just one night, just one bad moment in an ocean of so many good moments. I refuse to let that experience dictate how I feel about this place.

Caliber has been kind to me. And as I push away from the door and start down the long employee hallway, I recall memories from over the years: my first shift here, the nervousness I felt before getting onstage the first time, then the confidence and power that flooded me once I realized how liberating it was to dance and take control of my body.