Page 109 of Forsaking All Others

In the past few days I’ve given him more footage and more quotes than he could ever have hoped or expected. I owe him nothing, and I owe Thorun an explanation, or at least, part of one. I can’t tell her that the Life Token gives her a free pass out of here, because I need her to keep it secret for my strategy to pan out. And even if I did think the best thing would be to allow her to leave now, it would just seal her fate, because I can’t protect her while I’m still in the Game. Everyone knows that those who’ve found the token and used it to exit the Game last a year, at best, before they suffer an ‘accident.’ Vampires can’t allow people back into the world who’ve survived the show; they know too much.

Right now, I need her to keep it secret and safe and to trust me.

When we reach a particularly pretty part of the garden with a wooden bench I direct her to it and take her hands in mine.

“You’ve kept the coin you found hidden?”

“Yes.”

“Good girl.”

“Is it truly vitally important I don’t tell a soul?”

“It could mean the difference between life and death,” I meet her eyes and hold them.

“Then I guess it’s lucky I did as you said.”

“Thorun, I don’t expect obedience from my women. But thank you for trusting me.”

“I do trust you,” she murmurs, “but I don’t think I’ll ever be your woman.”

I frown and study her sincere expression as she raises her eyes to mine, tears starting to form.

“I see.”

Reaching into my pocket I retrieve a handkerchief for her as I consider how to respond to her candour. Of course I’d expect nothing less of her; she’s an open book, a pure soul.

“No,” she shakes her head as she takes the handkerchief and blows her nose, “I don’t think you do. I like you, I admire you, obviously. I mean, who wouldn’t? But we have nothing in common. I want children, I want to stay in one place, you don’t want children, you like to constantly travel. I hate sailing, I don’t cook, you’re the opposite. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I wasn’t really sure until our date but, but I don’t, I’m not…I’m just not attracted to you in that way. I’m so sorry, I’m…”

“Thorun,” I smile gently and put a finger to her lips. “Don’t apologise. I don’t seek love in a wife. It doesn’t matter to me if we’re not sexually compatible. As long as we can be friends, that’s all I’m looking for.”

“But I’m not,” she whispers. “I’m looking for so much more.”

“And you’ll have it,” I laugh gently. “You’ll have my name, but it’s just a name, Thorun. After a time you can return to your island if you wish. You can take lovers; you can fall in love with anyone you choose and have a hundred beautiful little blonde children. I’ll fund whatever life you want, wherever you want it. All I ask is that I leave here with someone on my arm who’ll play the role of wife for a little while; a year, maybe two or three at most.”

“Oh.”

“Is that something you can accept?”

“If I say no I’ll die, won’t I?”

“No,” I shake my head, “I’ll ensure that doesn’t happen. It wouldn’t be right. You didn’t come onto this show knowing anything about it, and you certainly didn’t consent to risk your life to marry me.”

“Then, yes,” she says shyly. “Yes, I’ll marry you, Jag.”

“Good girl.”

“But I don’t really like it when you say that.”

“Then I won’t say it again.”

“You’re going to be a great husband,” she says quietly, without conviction.

“I’ll try,” I murmur. “I’ll try. But right now I have eight other women to woo, so I guess we’d better get back.

When she stands, her smile returns.

“Thank you, Jag. You have no idea how I’ve tortured myself the past few weeks thinking you might choose me, only to find I can’t be what you want. I’m so relieved.”