Page 8 of Old Secrets

“As far as I know,” I replied. I continued to rummage through the documents, pausing at a police report of violence at an airport where there were several incoming flights from China. I set those aside to be investigated further during the flight. “We’re concerned about whether or not I can shapeshift during a pregnancy.”

“Or if it’s mandatory for you and the developing child.”

“Children. It does not seem like I’m built for having one at a time. And we also don’t know if I have a weird fertility cycle.”

“May my daughters never find out I have discussed their periods with anyone, but they started at a rather normal age for human women.”

“I had my first period at age ten. Well, at what I thought was age ten.”

“That would be a normal average, so you share some biological traits with humans despite your variances. It could be that your true nature was suppressed and you were functioning mostly as a human. Now that you’re shapeshifting as nature intended for you to do, your body is adapting back to what should be your normal. I could see that happening. I’ll do some digging on my end and send you some texts with relevant information. When you’re in China, inquire with your Chinese contact for the best method of contacting me. They’ll likely provide you with a specially tracked phone. I’ll make some calls and get back to you. When are you leaving?”

“At some offensive hour in the middle of the night.”

“They must have called in a charter, then. Which airport?”

“Atlanta.”

“May you rest in peace should you not survive that airport,” he quipped.

I giggled at the airport’s reputation for being a madhouse. “Thank you for your help. It’s really appreciated.”

“I’m glad to help. I’ll text you with my daughter’s number. While your circumstances aren’t quite the same, I’m sure you can find common ground. From my understanding, you’re rather eager to look into the problem of you having children?”

“Assuming I’m not like a cuttlefish.”

He snickered. “If you could help impress upon my daughter she need not be perfect before becoming a mother, I’d appreciate it.”

Ah. “Well, I mean, if she isn’t the kind to kill her infant because he’s not perfect, she’s more qualified than my adoptive mother, that’s for certain.”

“That insight is part of why I’m grateful you had reason to reach out to me. I’m concerned it might result in her and Richard adopting an entire pack of children, but she’s just like me.”

I could make a few guesses by what he meant by that. “You’re wired to have children around?”

“Precisely.”

“No matter how poorly adoption worked out for me in the long run, I highly encourage you look into it.”

“You’re not bitter over your experience?”

I allowed myself a smile, pausing in my search of the papers to say, “My ma made poor choices, but I am who I am now because of the things she did. All the things she did. Don’t get me wrong. She is what I view to be an ultimate evil. She murdered her son because he had been born with complications. He needed love and medical care. She beat him to death because he wasn’t perfect. She tried to kill me because I wasn’t perfect. Worse, I’d made all her sins known. My pa wasn’t innocent, either, but I recognize he had no proof. Therapy has helped. But I’ve decided I’ll be everything she was not. I don’t know if someone involved with the Inquisition can adopt, honestly. Will I be a perfect mother? Absolutely not. But I’ll be a present mother.”

“And that’s all you really and truly need to do to be a good parent. You need to be present and sensible, even when your children are insensible as children are prone to being. And your issues with your mate?”

“He’s still struggling, but I’ve figured my end of things out. He was patient for me, and I can be patient for him. He needs to figure out what a good balance between us and his family is.”

“I’ll do you a favor, Karma. I’ll go venture over to Baltimore, have a discussion with his parents about the situation, and take them out west for a few days to see healthy packs and their relationships with their human and witch pack mates. Seeing will help more than the flailing I’ve been hearing about.”

I giggled at the thought of the big bad wolf teaching Jake’s parents their manners. “My fox adores Jake’s father, and while she doesn’t get along with his mother, I can understand why everything happened. That doesn’t make it right, but there’s no reason we can’t all get along. Jake’s having a harder time with that, too.”

“You don’t need or want overtures. You just want a safe haven,” Desmond guessed. “Am I correct?”

“You’re correct.”

“And when you’re a child, and everything has been turned upside down on you, not having a safe haven is terrifying. And not realizing you’re likely still a child in the standards of your species after you’ve been told for a decade you’re an adult only complicates the problem. And then the societal standards of what they consider adults versus children kicks in. That leads to some uncomfortable emotions. My daughter picked her Richard when she was fifteen. She’d matured earlier than I prefer, and she had fixated on him the moment he’d stepped through our door. In our terms, she was an adult capable of making her own choices. By humanity’s standards, she was a child far too young to be making those decisions. You don’t know what your family believes to be the appropriate age.”

“We don’t.”

“If you are content with your situation and you have settled out and figured out what you both need, and you both still want it, I recommend you ignore what others say. And if it turns out your species waits to engage in matrimony at a later age, well, you were almost thirty in our eyes when you decided which male you wished to pursue.”