Page 60 of Client from Hell
Best of all, a thick and downy layer of pale hair covered my head, promising good things to come in the upcoming months—or when I cornered someone capable of growing it back.
“Well, it helps I’m an incubus. The better it is for you, the better I feed, and the better I feed, the stronger I am. It takes a lot to tip the scales in the other direction—and it usually takes one of the unicorns in their prime or Lucifer out to prove a point or ensnare my sister. If Lucifer pulls out all of the stops, he reduces everyone to limp noodles except my sister, who is a very hungry kitty with endurance the match of her husband’s.”
“You win.”
“You won, too,” he replied in an amused tone. “Now that I’ve tamed your virus, I will feed you, tuck you in, and let you recover. Then, because I am a prankster at heart, we’ll test just how good your shrouds are. I have a few residences here and there, and Lucifer might not know about the one because it’s new. I have plans to take you there and indulge. Then, because I’m evil, we’ll indulge at some of Lucifer’s residences, too.”
Would I survive such indulgences? Would I care if I perished due to such indulgences? I liked the sound of having something to eat, and my stomach voiced its demand with a gurgle. I went limp on the bed and snuggled into the soft blanket. “I will cooperate and put in a token protest so you can call it a kidnapping. If you kidnap me, Lucifer won’t send me to some lab to rescue more animals. I like rescuing animals, but I’ve had my fill of labs.”
“I see you have a prankster’s heart as well.”
I snorted and groped for a pillow and dragged it over. “We have to steal the blanket and pillows. They’re ours now.”
“As I do quite enjoy stealing things I shouldn’t, I shall do as you ask. If Lucifer wanted to keep his pillows and blanket, he wouldn’t have invited me to use his residence.”
“Exactly.” I stretched, and my muscles protested the movement. Even my toes hurt, a rather unexpected inconvenience. “What did you do to my toes?”
“I showed you a toe-curling good time.”
Huh. “No one had warned me about aching toes. I’d gotten the other warnings, although it seems incubi can do a rather marvelous job of preventing generalized discomfort.”
“It’s good to be me, but yes. We feed better when our partner gets the best experience possible. Some women enjoy a little pain to go with their pleasure, but I prefer to take the more pleasurable route with a new partner, and then I test to see what she likes. A gradual exploration is more my speed. But now that I’ve successfully earned your complete surrender, it’s time to get you something to eat so you can rest. I have plans for once you have enough energy to be an active participant.” With a low chuckle, Jonas got out of bed, dragged me out from under the covers, and tossed me over his shoulder. “You’ll regret it if you don’t soak, and I can feed you while you enjoy some basic pampering. I’m sure Lucifer stocked the kitchen, so I can cook us something.”
Right. He enjoyed working in the kitchen. “What’s wrong with you?”
“Well, I’m known to lie, steal, and even kill on occasion. The only sin I won’t indulge in is rape, and one of my favorite hobbies is hunting rapists and killing them in brutal fashions so I can visit them in hell and continue their punishment.”
“I am not seeing a problem with this.”
“For some reason, people seem to think murder is bad.”
I snorted. “It’s just a rapist. You’re doing the world a favor getting rid of those bastards. I feel that way about terrorists and pedophiles, too. I am really thinking about going into prosecution specifically to lock away rapists, terrorists, and pedophiles. That seems like my idea of a good time. Animal abusers are now on my list, although that’s a recent addition.”
“Noted. Rapists, pedophiles, terrorists, and animal abusers are your preferred prey.”
“No, you’re my preferred prey,” I replied. “I just seem to have run out of energy to hunt you again.”
Jonas chuckled, and he lowered me into the tub before turning on the water. “In reality, I will check in with Lucifer to see if there is anything important on the wire. He hadn’t expected that place to be a lab, and there might be intel we need to act on immediately. If there is, I’ll adjust our plans and make sure you’re appropriately tended to at least once a day.”
“This bed buddy arrangement is quite possibly the smartest move I’ve made in my life.”
“Honestly, I’m thinking your act of arson is the smartest move you’ve made in your life. I mean, you torched the Devil’s house and got away with it. His brothers adore you now because of it. Every time I’m alone, some damned archangel checks in to make sure you’re doing well—and warns me I best not stray if I value my masculinity.”
“Ouch.” I stretched out in the water, snagged the bubble bath, and added some. “If this breaks the Devil’s fancy tub, he deserves to pay for the repairs.”
“Normally bath oils and salts are not to be used in fancy tubs, but Lucifer is spoiled and would rather replace the tub and enjoy the salts and the oils, so go to town. Just don’t use too much soap, else you’ll flood the entire place with bubbles.”
“That could be fun.”
Jonas laughed. “But dangerous, as bubbles on tiles are slippery. Don’t fall asleep in the tub. Any preference on dinner?”
“Hot and in my stomach as quickly as possible?”
“Any problems with rare steaks?”
“No, but I’ll be a little sad we can’t make potatoes bake faster.”
“I am not above going to hell and making Lucifer bake you a potato. He can bake them in seconds, and they come out just as good as from the oven—probably even better. His turn out really fluffy and tender inside with crisp skin. I hate him for his potato baking skills. Well, I mean, that’s just one extra reason I hate him.”
