Page 58 of Client from Hell

“I appreciate that. And yes, we’re even, because you thought the lions and tigers trying to eat me was funny as hell.”

“I really did, especially once I realized they couldn’t actually reach you. I’d been ready to jump in and teleport you away if needed.” Jonas heaved a sigh and shook his head. “You got me with a damned illusion. Why the hell did you pick that thing for that?”

“It’s gross and horrifying?”

“Yeah, no fucking kidding. I don’t know how my soul didn’t just flitter right out of my fucking body when that started up,” he complained.

“Lucifer?” I asked, hoping the Devil would understand I had a few too many questions on why my magic had been so potent.

“You’ll need to learn to control your magic again. I guess there’s no harm in telling you now, but without the last-ditch treatments, you would have died within a week or two. The cancer had been eating at your brain at an alarming pace. The progression was halted with the first infusion of lycanthropy blood, but a lot of the damage was done in the sections responsible for magic. Some memories would have been lost, but the magic and holy fire used to restore those parts of your brain would have made you better suited to using magic. You intended to drive everyone away from the site, and your magic acted according to your target’s strength. As Jonas was the most powerful being in the building, he got hit with the strongest part of your magic.” Taking the otters to Lucille, the Devil set them on the hood before circling the vehicle.

Guessing he wanted to see the papers, I popped open the trunk and joined him.

A ream of printer paper appeared in Lucifer’s hand, which he gave to me with a pen.

Taking the hint to make him a copy of the files, I went to work. As he’d brought enough paper to make two sets, I did the work twice, separating the pages and handing them over. “So, I just need to be really careful about the general potency moving forward?”

“Yes. You’re adept at handling significant concentrations of magic, and I can’t tell if that’s just from you or if it’s an ability of spicy ponies with bite.” Lucifer tucked the paperwork under his arm and retrieved the otters. “Jonas, as your flight tapped you of more energy than I like, I fed you some energy. Use it to finish healing that train wreck of a woman so you can have a proper dinner. I suspect spicy ponies with bite have similar feeding requirements as incubi, at least judging from how hungry she’s getting. If you think she’ll get rowdy, take her to the estate in New York. That should be durable enough to survive you two, and I had the cleaning staff over yesterday. No more trouble for at least twenty-four hours,” he ordered before disappearing with the otters and the paperwork.

“That sounded like an invitation to create some trouble in twenty-five hours, Jonas.”

“It really did,” the incubus agreed. “For the first part of your punishment, I get to drive. For the second part of your punishment, I’m totally tying you up when I do what Lucifer says and finish correcting your hormones and fixing your reproductive system.”

I liked where his punishments headed. “Is there a third punishment?”

“Absolutely. Thanks to that little stunt of yours, I’m really hungry, so you’re just going to have to accept responsibility for your actions.”

I wasted no time diving into Lucille and buckling in, taking over the passenger’s side to indicate I was ready for the punishments to begin. Jonas took his time getting behind the wheel, and the instant he started the engine, I set the navigation panel to take us back to the hotel near Athens. “I just have one question, Jonas.”

“What is it?”

“Did Lucifer really wear you as a hat?”

“To my eternal shame and embarrassment, yes.”

Somehow, I swallowed my laughter before it could escape and humiliate the incubus. “And Lucifer tolerated it?”

“Tolerated it? I bet the bastard loved it, because I make a point of dodging his displays of affection. One spell from you, and I became his damned hat!”

A giggle slipped out. “Don’t feel too badly about it. In your shoes, I’d go hide with him, too. If Lucifer can’t make the big nasty floating head with a spinal cord go away, who can?”

“I am so going to enjoy punishing you for this later, Sandra. Mark my words. Revenge is coming, and I’ll savor every last minute of it.”

Fourteen

You are tricky.

Within five minutes of Jonas beginning his work, I understood why he’d gone the bondage route, tying me to a kitchen chair before fixing my busted reproductive system. His magic induced cramps so severe I wanted to murder the bastard. On a good day, cramps hurt like hell, but his magic gave my cancer treatments a run for their money. Later, I hoped he would forgive me for the various threats I flung his way, which ranged from slitting his throat and feeding him to the Devil to dunking him into various acid baths so I could enjoy listening to his screams.

I also understood why Lucifer had offered one of his residences, as the nearest neighbor some ten miles away couldn’t hear the profanities pouring out of my mouth.

“This is why I wanted to do this the slow way,” the incubus informed me sometime after my voice turned hoarse. “I don’t really have a way of buffering you from the pain right now, as you’ll be difficult to properly influence until I’m done. But once I’m done? I could dunk you into an acid bath and have you so turned on you wouldn’t be screaming from pain.”

Evil, wretched incubus. “Aren’t you the one who said you can’t actually circumvent free will?”

Jonas chuckled. “I can’t. It’s not my fault few humans have the general fortitude to ignore peak arousal. People can and do walk away from our power. It’s just difficult, and most humans simply aren’t all that good at resisting impulse or temptation. I think I’ll leave you simmering on that chair after I’m done to give you a good taste of my magic and warm you up for the other things I have in mind.”

“You are tricky,” I hissed.