Page 17 of Client from Hell

“I’m still not seeing the problem.”

“He targeted mine the last time. He hung every scrap of underwear I own throughout the entire place. Every demon and devil in residence saw my bras, Sandra.”

“How’d your fiancé handle it?”

“The jackass loved it, because he’s the only one who gets to see me wearing them, and he knows it. As do the devils and demons.”

Understanding struck me, and I giggled. “You’re a control freak, aren’t you?”

“Maybe a little.”

“I’m sure you’ll survive through a few little pranks.”

“Little?”

I blinked. “How many bras do you own?”

“Maybe more than I should,” she confessed. “The worst part of this is? I’m still missing a few, and it’s really starting to freak me out.”

“Have you asked him nicely to return the missing bras?”

Diana sighed. “I did ask, but he said there had been so many of them he started getting creative, and he genuinely doesn’t remember where he put them all. So, inevitably, my bras will turn up at the worst times. He didn’t mean to forget, but I have missing bras, Sandra.”

“Is one of my errands to help look for your missing bras?”

After a moment of silence, the woman laughed. “No, but there are bras in your future. You’re to buy clothing, and he’s specified the exact number of everything you should get with a note you may meet or exceed, but you may not be a skinflint and go under the specified amount.”

I could handle that. “I’m still not seeing the problem here, Diana.”

“You’ll learn soon enough,” she warned. “And my evening entertainment has just arrived, so I’m going to let you go. Expect a guest tomorrow morning with the paperwork. If you like it, sign it. If you don’t, send him back with counters until you’re ready to sign. He can teleport, so you can probably get at least six or seven counters in during the day if you want. I’ve been given orders to make the time to review the paperwork throughout the day, so don’t be shy about negotiations. It’s a good time to learn. If you’re uncertain about something, call me.”

Without waiting for me to reply, Diana hung up, leaving me to wonder what tomorrow would hold.

After a little reflection, it amazed me I had a tomorrow at all.

Five

Some was better than none.

The virus donor had a ridiculous amount of blood; first thing in the morning, the doctors and nurses subjected me to yet another transfusion courtesy of my incubating virus’s determination to repair my vital organs. Apparently, a virus on a mission consumed blood as fuel, or so my doctors believed.

It turned the experiment with my health rather dangerous—and improbable for others, as several donors with the same strain would be needed before testing to see if my success could be duplicated. If it could be duplicated, lycanthropes would be the final last-ditch effort for cancer patients.

I doubted all—or even most—of them could be saved, but some was better than none.

It took two units to get my blood pressure back up to where they wanted it, but thanks to an early start and a lack of care if anyone watched somebody’s blood seep into my veins, they permitted visitors. The human man with darker brown hair looked me over while I gave him the same treatment. I recognized the suit as something Lucifer would wear, and as the two shared similar builds when human, I suspected the Devil had tossed Darlene’s brother into his clothes in an effort to up his general appeal.

It worked, and I eyed the red tie with interest. “You must be Jonas.”

“I am. You must be Sandra.”

Interesting. Had he wanted to be dressed up? Had the women in his life held him down while Lucifer stuffed him into his clothes? Either option amused me, as did my awareness he’d been dressed to the Devil’s standards, which involved designer tags and zero respect for money. “I am. First, no is allowed. You do not have to play to Darlene’s hopes and dreams for your love life. I’m not sure if virgins count as treats to incubi or not, but if I do count as a treat, I’m accepting rain checks.” I pointed at the line feeding blood into my arm. “I keep leaking, and frankly, I’m concerned any amount of exertion at this point will finish me off.”

“I see you’ve been informed I’m an incubus.”

“I’ve been told you’re a strangely monogamous incubus in need of a love life,” I replied, unable to keep from grinning. “I can’t tell if I’m infernally lucky or unlucky.” Thinking on my feet was a requirement in my future work, so I decided to live on the wild side for a change. The wild side also ran decent odds of acquiring a reliable bedwarmer. “Here’s the deal. I engage with one person at a time, I do not have time in my life for a man, but I do have time in my life for a consistent bed buddy. The way I see it, we can help each other out. I go to bed happy, you go to bed fed, and we’ll maintain a non-relationship for however long is required or desired. Think of it as free dinner for as long as we’re both hungry. That said, I’m infected with lycanthropy, and I really don’t have time to shop around for some man who’ll get in the way of my career, so if you get stuck with me, that’s a you problem and not a me problem, especially if it means I go to bed happy most nights of the week. I’ve got parents to take care of, and no mere man is going to put the brakes on my general ambitions and job security.”

The incubus snickered, stepped out in the hallway long enough to drag in a bulky duffle bag and a briefcase, and hauled the lot over to my bed before taking a seat. “I appreciate your candor. I see my sister has already gotten to you.”