Page 36 of Catnapped

“Darlene would cry,” Darian replied. “Why not just partner him with a unicorn mare? That should keep him busy for a thousand years or so.”

“I don’t have any available unicorn mares that would partner well with him.”

Darian huffed. “So make a new species the next time you have a chance to create a new seed. This should not be difficult. Why not an ice one? You have fire. Ice would be fun. Can we get back on subject now? Just accept her offer so we can get back to work. She’s going to snap if we waste too much extra time before checking out the lab itself.”

“Ah, yes. That reminds me.” The Devil snapped his fingers and several cat carriers manifested and dropped to the ground. “You will need these.”

Uh oh. “There are cats here?”

“There is a litter of kittens you can rescue. Their mother is in need of some tender loving care, and she could use help nursing them. You will find milk for their care in the carriers. That should keep you amused until you can take them to a shelter or decide to keep them.”

I did not need an entire litter of kittens, but there was no way I was going to leave them or their mother to starve to death. “Let’s find the kittens first, then we can go check out the lab, Darian.”

The Devil pointed into the forest. “There is a utility shed that way. You will find the kittens and their mother inside.”

“Was the mother part of the lab operations?” I asked.

“Yes.”

That poor cat. “She’s hurt enough she won’t fight, isn’t she?”

“It’s nothing you can’t handle. But I can tell you this much: if the assholes knew about her, she’d be as much of a target as your Mr. Flooferson.”

I sucked in a breath. “You think we can figure out what’s going on with her?”

“And you can do so with one additional present from me, but it will cost you.”

Fuck. Yet another bargain. “How many times will I have to bargain with you?”

“As many times as needed for me to get what I want.”

What an asshole. “I am not going to experiment on that poor cat!”

“You don’t have to experiment on her. You have to love her, and then you have to run a touchless scanner over her and read the results. If the scanner requires blood, you need to just prick her shoulder long enough to get the sample. Then you can shower her with affection and rehabilitate her to your heart’s content before finding her and her kittens an appropriate home.”

I frowned, wondering if I’d be able to send off the poor cat to another home. “What breed is she?”

“She’s a ragamuffin. The kittens are purebred, as her boyfriend was also a ragamuffin escapee. They opted for that breed in the lab due to their dispositions.”

Fuck. There was a boy cat. “Where is her boyfriend?”

The Devil grimaced. “He had an unfortunate encounter with a mountain lion.”

Oh. I joined him in grimacing. “Poor little guy. Okay. Momma cat and her kittens in the utility shed. What are you going to ask of me for the appropriate scanner?”

“Your soul would be nice, but I’ll accept your agreement to listen to a proposal that should take approximately thirty minutes of your time.”

At the rate the Devil usurped my time, I’d end up his minion through owed minutes. “I get to permanently keep the scanner.”

“If you want to own the scanner, you must be able to provide ten good reasons, verifiable through a third-party arbitrator, to refuse my proposal. Otherwise, you must agree to it.”

I foresaw coercion into marriage or adoption in my future. “The third-party arbitrator must be one of your archangel brothers, and it can’t be Darian’s father.”

“Bargain made.”

“You’re going to get yourself into more trouble than you can get out of, Diana,” Darian muttered.

“I’m a sucker for cats in need, and Mr. Flooferson needs a girlfriend. Except like Mr. Flooferson, she will no longer be able to produce little kittens after her litter is grown up and she can be spayed. Responsible cat ownership is important. I have no idea what I’m going to do with a litter of kittens, though.”