Page 71 of Playing with Fire

Crap. My mouth had gone and done it again. I sighed.

My future grandfather-in-law patted my head and smoothed my hair. “He’s part angel, little one. Bad seeds bear no fruit, and that woman had turned rotten. You suit him. All roses start out as nothing but thorns, but given time, their flowers are the most beautiful of all. It is the nature of humans to err. It is also the nature of humans to persist. Of course, I am an angel. I can—and do—cheat a little. I foresee you driving each other crazy until the end of days. I look forward to it very much. You will bring me much entertainment over a long time. Go ahead and sign your paper, children. Seal your fate.”

“Angels are scary, Quinn.”

“I know.” He smiled at me. “Once we sign, we can bolt.”

“Give me a pen.”

Papers rustled, and the vampire slapped a sheet of paper on the broad sill separating us from him. “Once you sign, you’re married, blah, blah, blah. Till death do you part and some crap about the State of Virginia. Sign here.” The judge held out a pen.

“We should use that on a card, Quinn. ‘Blah, blah, blah, till death do we part and some other crap.’ It’s brilliant.” I snatched the pen. “Don’t we need some witnesses watching us sign this damned thing?” I checked to make certain I was actually signing a marriage certificate before I scribbled my name on the appropriate line.

“I’m witnessing, and no one doubts an angel.” Sylvester stepped towards the brawl, reached out, and snagged the nearest body. He ended up with the gorgon. “I need you to sign this so the children can be married.”

Quinn took the pen and signed before making room for his grandfathers. Sylvester signed first. Instead of signing with the pen, the gorgon smeared his bloodied thumb over the page. It turned into a stone tablet.

“There. It is written in stone. Can’t be undone now. Deal with it.”

“He did that on purpose,” I blurted.

“It’s not a party without at least one petrification.” Sylvester, an angel and my new grandfather-in-law, shrugged. “I can’t argue. It is written in stone now. I guess I’ll give you your wedding present.”

He grabbed our left wrists. With an indignant, startled squawk, the vampire vanished.

Quinn sucked in a breath. “Shit. No, no, not the—”

Damned angels and their stupid Bailey-smiting halos.

I didn’t die, not even a little. All of heaven’s pretty stars danced and twinkled before my eyes, however. I sprawled over Quinn, who sighed his worn-out, patience-tested sigh. “You suck, Grandpa.”

Sylvester laughed and vanished in a column of golden light.

“Angels are jerks,” I slurred.

“Told you.”

“I can’t bolt like this, Quinn. I don’t think I can even crawl right now. I got smited at my own wedding.” I giggled. “We started our marriage with a bang.”

“And my wife’s first act as a married woman is to pun me. I haven’t even gotten a kiss yet.”

I was a wife. Huh. How had that happened? “I’m going to need a few minutes on this one. I wasn’t even used to being someone’s girlfriend yet. I don’t know how to be a wife.”

“Tip: have sex with me, and only me, often.”

“And there’s the rest of my life, having sex with a sinfully hot man. However will I cope?”

“I’m sure you’ll figure something out. Now that we’re married, shall we get a non-petrified copy to take to Clemmends? Actually, two extra copies. I’m going to need to shove the first one down his throat. Then I’m going to have to actually look at the laws regarding surrogates and figure out how we got played, because I’m pretty sure we got played, Bailey.”

“You can’t attack the head of the CDC. He might have a real job for me.”

“I’m not sure I can obey that order. What if I want to? I need to protest his bullshit bogus bureaucracy.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be thanking him? He’s why we’re here. I’m on top of you, married to you, while your relatives brawl in a courthouse.”

Quinn scowled. “Can I thank him at the same time I shove the certificate down his throat?”

“I don’t think that’s how it works, Quinn.”