Page 65 of Playing with Fire

“You’re welcome.”

The problem with going to a courthouse in the middle of the night involved the nocturnals the system served. Every city had at least one courthouse open from dusk to dawn with full judicial services catering to those unable to venture out into the sunlight. Vampires and the various incorporeal supernatural came to mind, but a lot of people took advantage of the late hours to take care of paperwork.

To make matters worse, vampires often served as the late-night staff, allowing them to participate in bloodless hunts. Without fail, they’d have at least one vampire and an entire coven of lawyers waiting to prey on hapless idiots expecting the night court to be simpler than the day court.

On a bad night, the place would be infested with incubi and succubi, vampires, ghouls, and other undead nasties needing to navigate the murky waters of government paperwork. On the really bad nights, hell broke loose on Earth in a very literal sense.

And then there were nights when my mother and father stood in the courthouse lobby and engaged in a glaring match with Quinn while an angel, an incubus, Nilman, several vampires, and an amused human couple watched. Hell no. Hell no.

No, no, no. Absolutely not.

Someone must have spiked my coffee with a hallucinogen. There was no other explanation.

“And we’re done here.” I almost managed to turn around to walk out, but Perky linked his arm with mine and dragged me deeper into the building. “Hey!”

My protest caught everyone’s attention, and Quinn’s cheek twitched. “Gardener, are you actually related to these people?”

I turned to Perky, casting a desperate look at the doors. “How long has he been in here?”

“Twenty minutes.”

I gulped. Had he been talking to my parents for the entire time? Why were they in Richmond? What had lured them out? How? Why? A thousand questions without a single nice answer hammered through my head. “If we could forget this ever happened, that’d be great. I think I left something in the car, Perky.”

Perky tightened his grip on my arm. “Drink your coffee. Everything’ll be fine.”

Drinking my coffee sounded like a good idea. Would I find a hidden stash of alcohol at the bottom of my cup? Miracles could happen. There was an angel in the room after all.

Quinn cleared his throat. “We need a copy of your birth certificate.”

“They try their best to forget I was born. You do realize I could have expedited one, right?” Did we need a copy of my birth certificate to get a bogus marriage license? Damn it. Stupid government bureaucracy. If my parents had brought the certificate with them, I had ways of getting it out of their hands. Beating them to death in a courthouse full of witnesses wouldn’t work. I would need something equally violent but more private.

Did Richmond have a river or lake? Maybe a deep pond? Drowning them seemed like a good idea.

Sighing, Quinn shook his head. “I thought it would be faster to check with the CDC’s HR department, get their number, and ask for it nicely. I’m sorry. I had no idea they were such—”

The angel clapped its hand over Quinn’s mouth. “You will be polite, little one. Those words you intend to speak are not polite.”

Okay. I could act like an adult, or I could get smacked down by an angel. I could act like an adult. I could speak to my parents without screaming, yelling, or breaking down into an anxious, crying mess. Holding out my hand, I said, “Birth certificate, please.”

Look at me, all sorts of polite.

Everyone stared at me like I had grown a second head. My mother scowled and turned away. My father also scowled, but at least he had the basic decency to look me in the eyes when he did it.

Okay, then. If asking nicely wasn’t going to work, I had a second plan, and all I had to do was dig the vial out of my bra to implement it. “I have enough pixie dust on me to turn this into a very public party you’ll never forget. I’m probably the only person in a hundred miles licensed to do this. If you don’t want my grandparents finding out you went on a pixie dust bender in a courthouse, I suggest you hand over my birth certificate. Please.”

I could be polite while issuing threats, too. I needed to give myself a gold star for my skills at being a real adult.

The angel’s laughter tinkled in my head. “How refreshing. She’s so serious.”

Stretching his velvety black wings, the incubus joined in, his chuckles making my toes curl in my shoes. I could threaten my parents while snuggling up to Quinn, couldn’t I?

The angel reached out and slapped the incubus upside his head. “No. You’re being bad.”

My desire to rub all over Quinn evaporated. Damn it. I couldn’t tell if I was disappointed or annoyed over the incubus manipulating me.

The incubus giggled. “Pixie dust benders are the best. Can you blame me? I’m allowed to do so much when everyone’s high. I even brought my camera.”

Sure enough, the incubus held a camera with his tail, and the red flashing light informed me he was already recording the scene. I spent several moments admiring his steady grip on the device.