Page 87 of Grave Humor

“Now I’m really hurt. Stricken low by my cruel brother.”

The archangels laughed.

“Focus,” I scolded. “What am I supposed to do with this seed?”

“Put it in a box, carry it in your pocket, and do whatever you want with it. Just try not to lose it,” the devil replied. “I’m sure you could find it again, but it’s so annoying when you lose a seed of life you’ve been holding onto for a while. I have a few I need to plant I’ve misplaced, and when my wife finds out, she’s going to spank me.”

“You just want me to spank you,” Darlene mumbled. “You’re noisy. What’d you do now?”

“I’m always noisy, disturbing your naps. You naughty kitten, gorging on so much melon you needed a nap. I lost one of the seeds I was supposed to be keeping an eye on.”

The devil amazed me, behaving as his title warned, lying to his wife to protect her from her memories.

“Idiot,” Darlene grumbled. “If you make me look through the house again, I’m banning you from my spots for three months.”

“That’s too long. The seeds are stupid, and you don’t even like the assholes who own them anyway. Don’t ban me from your spots for three months over a few nasty souls nobody wants anyway.”

“Touch her on her shoulder,” Michael’s voice whispered into my ear. “Then you will see the darkness of those memories—and you will learn a little more.”

I held Hammel’s seed in one hand and patted Darlene on the shoulder. To disguise my motivations, I said, “I’m sure he’s just yanking your chain. Anyway, I have more melons if you want to gorge on them again. They’re that good, aren’t they?”

The feeling of soft, melting ice greeted my touch, with one spot colder than the rest. The boundary between life and death lurked within her, and I fought to keep my eyes from widening.

She somehow still stood in the valley of the shadow of death and hadn’t quite been able to step away from it like I had done when I had approached the doorway to the afterlife.

“Precisely. That is precisely what ails her. When she remembers, she draws closer to the boundary, but her soul understands it is not yet her time. It becomes afraid. It tries to protect her the best it can,” Michael whispered, and I got the sense his words were meant for me alone. “He could not guide her fully back. All he could do was ensure her survival. No one can take back what death has claimed except death itself. It is against the laws of the universe. But this is your domain, for you are death, and she has not fully faced what it means to meet you, Azrael, or Eoghan. You can guide her through that valley and take away the shadow from her. And, if it pleases you, the seed of life you bear can carry that burden for a while until it is ready to be planted. A fitting punishment, and one that will ensure this seed forever flinches from attempting to bring the dead back to life. It will not be difficult for you to guide her. Shoo her away from the boundary. Wave your hand if that helps.”

“Yes, they are that good,” Darlene replied, and with a happy purr, she snuggled against her husband. “I can’t help it I’m a cat. I like to nap.”

I suspected the wear and tear of her soul hovering close to the boundary of death tired her more than anything, and I concentrated on the boundary and the feeling of her soul. As I liked the idea of shooing her back to where she belonged, I imagined doing just that, sending her away from the boundary and back to the comfort of the unlikely soul waiting nearby rather like an eager puppy.

I understood, then, why Lucifer had first been called the Lord of the Morning, an archangel representing the light.

He radiated light and warmth, which only grew brighter when Darlene’s soul ventured closer to his.

It didn’t take much to have that trapped part of her scampering back where it belonged.

And, as Michael had suggested, I shooed the darkness that had clung to her into the seed in my hand. The shadow lurked, a spot colder than the rest within the seed. In time, I would shoo it away, too. I could only hope I could identify when the time was right for the seed to escape another facet of its punishment.

“Just like so,” Michael whispered. “It is finished,” he said in a normal voice. “Enjoy your spot counting tonight, brother, try not to annoy death in all its parts too terribly much, and do attempt to keep your word about fixing this hole you have made.”

The Lord of Lies chuckled. “I always enjoy when I can count my wife’s precious spots. I’ll see about the hole after I have enjoyed counting her precious spots. I always enjoy counting my wife’s precious spots. It may as well be a universal rule.”

“That’s because you’re a pervert,” Darlene said, and she stretched with a yawn. “That was a nice nap.”

“I am glad you enjoyed your nap, my darling. And as for my perversions? Of course I enjoy my perversions. They’re so entertaining. While you were napping off your gorging, I took care of some unpleasant business and helped a new guest to his accommodations. Once I have finished counting all of your beautiful spots, you can go play with him. I put your favorite toys outside of his cell for you. It’s been a while since you’ve gotten to toy with one of the naughty souls.”

“If you’re trying to secure more spot counting, it’s working.”

“I am. Pure selfishness on my part,” the devil lied.

I’d seen a glimpse of the devil’s soul, and for her, he was nothing but a light in the dark.

“And now you understand,” Michael whispered in my ear. “My brother is a blessing, however much that annoys Him. For all my brother fell, his fall became one of His greatest gifts to mankind. My brother’s fall bought mankind its freedom.”

Huh. That one had gotten missed by the history books.

“Indeed,” Michael replied.