Page 77 of Grave Humor

“If I’m properly entertained, you may count spots.”

The devil pilfered one of the honey rocks, cracking it in half with his bare hands. “Today is a good day. Your entertainment will arrive soon. The first part of the entertainment will be here shortly after Anwen finishes preparing her treat.”

I waited for Darlene to finish slicing her honey rock before I went to work on mine, and as I was a generous being, I cut Eoghan’s up for him at the same time. “I like how the entertainment is waiting for me to have a snack.”

Michael, Gabriel, and Azrael popped into existence behind the devil. Gabriel fisted his hand and smacked his devilish brother upside the head. “You’re trouble. Why must you always create trouble?”

I nibbled on my honey rock and observed the entertainment. Darlene did the same, and the tip of her tail twitched. Her ears remained forward, which I translated to mean she enjoyed watching her family’s drama.

Eoghan snorted and ate his share of honey rock, shaking his head.

“It’s fun,” the devil replied.

I laughed at that. “If you expected any other answer from him, you need to go sit in the corner and adjust your general expectations.”

“You’re meddling. Again. You’re toeing the lines. Again. Why must you do such things? He has noticed, and we’re supposed to make sure you don’t create more trouble. He told us to keep you company to make sure you don’t do something foolish. Again.”

“He loves my antics. The stuffy believers just don’t like me, so He has to pretend He hates me.”

The Earth was not of sufficient size to contain the devil’s ego.

“You’re luring the one who seeks to circumvent death here. On purpose. To do what?” Gabriel demanded, and he crossed his arms over his chest and stretched his wings. I assumed the wing display was meant to intimidate. The devil laughed and waved to dismiss his angelic brother’s complaints. “Lucifer, can’t you be serious?”

“I am being serious. This is the most efficient solution to the problem, and it permits me to meddle to the fullest extent possible. If I permitted things to play out in their natural course, it would take weeks to accomplish the same goal. This way, I also get to enjoy a picnic. It’s been a while since I’ve enjoyed a picnic. My wife is also enjoying the picnic, too. You know how I feel about anyone interrupting things my wife enjoys.”

“You’re whipped,” the devil’s wife informed him. “By me. I like that. It hasn’t been that long since I let you count spots.”

“It’s been too long.”

Eoghan leaned towards me and whispered, “He could have counted her spots an hour ago and it would have been too long for his liking.”

Lucy heaved a sigh. “I see how it is. I was being helpful. Can’t I be helpful without everyone doubting me?”

“Absolutely not,” all three archangels chorused.

I laughed and went back to eating my honey rock. “Hammel is coming here, then?”

“He’ll be here fairly soon,” the devil replied. “I sent a minion to tell him what he wants is here. Which it is.”

Crap. I’d forgotten about the node. I twisted around to stare at where my parents’ house used to be. “We didn’t incinerate the node, did we?”

“We?” the devil replied.

“I told you to do it, and you did it. Therefore, we applies.”

Darlene snickered. “You’re right, you goof of a husband. I do like her. Anwen, we’re going to need to picnic and have coffee again soon. I haven’t had this much fun in a while.”

I liked the sound of that, so I nodded. “I can probably convince Eoghan to tolerate your husband. They can keep each other amused while we enjoy coffee.”

“Men are a lot of work, aren’t they?”

I pointed a piece of my honey rock at Eoghan. “My initial impressions of this one involves a lifetime of potential frustration.”

That earned me a scowl. “Pardon?”

I ignored the complaint in his tone and took a bite of my melon.

Eoghan grunted but didn’t say another word.