Page 17 of Haven

I shook my head. “None. Sometimes I feel bad, but not with her. It was the best night of my life and I had orgasms. She didn’t judge me or question my scars. She said I was art.”

“Are you planning on seeing her again?”

“Iz, it was a one-time thing. I’m insane. Legally and hypothetically. That and she lives in Crestview.”

Izzy straightened in her chair. She knew about the feud. Hell, she knew about everything that wasn’t borderline illegal that happened in Briarwood. I was a blabbermouth and talking about unrelated things kept Izzy distracted slightly until she reeled me in. “Ahh, so we’re bordering on enemies to lovers.”

“I don’t care about Cinder’s feud. But it makes me feel like a horrible sister because Diesel was her father, and she lost him in such a brutal way.”

Before he was killed, I only had a handful of conversations with him. Diesel died a few weeks before I tried to kill myself. It was a difficult time for everyone, but I couldn’t handle being a burden. Cinder never called me a burden, but I felt like one at the time. I think that was when Morgan knew she could make her move on me. She knew what to say to make me gush and feel safe.

“Fast attachment is something we talked about,” Izzy explained. Damn, we were diving into therapy today. “But I know you. I know how you catch feelings. It seems this woman affected you.”

I groaned. Well, hell. I thought this was supposed to help me. “You know, I expected you to tell me no. I am not mentally sane to deal with this.”

She crossed her legs and folded her hands. “I can tell you no all the time, but will you listen?” Good point. “Rory, you know I’ll tell you to do a lot of things, but this is something you have to choose for yourself.”

I knew she would answer like a therapist, but it was fully my choice to do this or not. I wanted to see if these feelings, two weeks later, were something I should chase or be left in the dark. “Okay. I’ll think about it more.”

I didn’t want to dive into things with a woman I didn’t know that well. Sex was one thing, but feelings and everything else? I joked about it, but I had issues. My trauma and everything else didn’t define me, but I still had to live with it. Widow and Vesper weren’t mine, but diving into this with a stranger? Future me might benefit from it, but present Rory? How the hell would I tell a woman I was fucked up? Like yes, I was on medicine and in therapy, but sometimes I had very bad days.

“Why don’t you tell your sister about it?”

“Uhhh no. She hates anyone associated with Crestview because of what the leader did to Diesel. I get it, but at the same time, it’s not something I am emotionally attached to.”

“Well then, Rory, be selfish. You worry about making everyone else happy, so make yourself happy. I know you’re scared of attachment, but you deserve to be happy. The right person will love you, every part of you, even the parts of you that you don’t like.”

I sighed, and thanked her for today’s therapy session before I headed out. I needed a sign before I made a fool of myself, and I had the perfect person to ask.

I pulled out my phone and texted Babs, who abandoned me for college, but I couldn’t blame her. Babs was my soul sister, my platonic soulmate. We met during college orientation. I decided I wanted to move on with my life, and at nineteen, I went to community college. Babs was also there. We were both trying to figure out what we wanted to do in life.

Babs was a year younger than me and in her last year of pre-med at Jacksonville State, then she’d be in med school somewhere. I loved her, and I was glad she got out of Briarwood, but fuck her for leaving me. I wish I got out, but Briarwood was my home, and so was Cinder.

ME

Bitch when are you coming back home? I need some soul sister TLC.

BABS

I’ll be home soon! I promise! I miss you!

ME

I’m gonna wither away

BABS

LOL, please don’t. I have to do a few tests and I’ll be home! I promise.

Sixteen

Hades

Ifound myself waiting at Tipsy Throttle for a certain pink-haired woman to return, and I hated to admit how many times I came here a week. Actually, I would have to accept my fate and stop chasing a ghost. It was just my luck falling head over heels for a woman who wasn’t from Crestview. Of all the surrounding cities, she chose my town to look downright sinful and leave me with whiplash.

My dad declined doing anything that involved attacking the Vipers because it would fall back on him. Cinder would kill him, and I refused to let my father die because of Luke. Dad was extra protective, calling me and texting me every hour, but every time I told him I was fine. Part of me felt like he was using me as a scare tactic and he wouldn’t do anything, but Luke was also an asshole who made his problems everyone else's.

“Hey, Gee,” I called out to the bartender. He sauntered over to me with a bright smile and a whiskey sour in his hand, sliding it to me. “You spoil me, darlin’.” I laughed as I took the drink.