Page 80 of Under His Control

I scowl as I scrape at a stubborn spot on the window.

“How can I be a whore when I’ve never had sex?”

A question I wish I had the ovaries to ask out loud last night. Instead, I was too busy drowning at the bottom of the Great Lakes of Utter Shame.

I take a breath and stare out the window at the snowy front lawn, trailing my fingers over my collar. I hated it at first, now it brings me comfort, calming my inner turbulence.

“Forget breathing exercises to ease your stress. Try letting a man own you instead.”

I shake my head at myself. At this rate, I won’t be invited to any women’s march. I get down off the chair and move it over to the next window.

While Jacob was clearing the driveway, I was on the phone with Aunt Dee. It was nice hearing her cheery voice as she told me Kevin finally asked out a girl he liked and she said yes.

Talking to a girl long enough to invite her on a date is a major accomplishment for my shy cousin. Meanwhile, Aunt Dee was already planning his wedding and gushing about her future grandbabies.

That’s if Kevin will get to have those babies and if Aunt Dee will get to see them.

My calm fades as the wheel spins again, slowing to a stop on Cedric. Jacob is so sure that asshole won’t hurt my family. I’m not. The best way to keep them safe is to return to Toronto as soon as possible and prove I didn’t run away.

But Jacob won’t let me leave.

And even though I said differently last night… I don’t want to leave either.

Not yet.

Footsteps thump on the porch. I swing my gaze over my shoulder at the door and the sudden action sends the chair sliding backward. I yelp as I tumble off.

“Ow!”

The door swings open and Jacob rushes in, immediately dumping the grocery bags in his hands. Concern on his face, he hurries over and reaches down for me.

“Are you OK? What happened?”

I give him a shaky, embarrassed smile as I rise to my feet with his help.

“I fell off the chair.”

“Are you hurt?”

Jacob raises my forearms as he looks me over and I’m extra aware of his touch. His concern fills me with a pleasant glow and I remember how he held me last night and soothed me when I was crying. These small ways he shows me he still cares about me despite our past is making me fall in love with him.

Excuse me. Come again?

“Just my pride,” I say, struggling to pretend I didn’t just come to an earth-shattering realization. “And my right knee a little. I smacked it.”

He smiles. “Want me to kiss it all better?” A grimace replaces his smile and he releases my arms. “That came out wrong. Forget what I said.”

I nod, a tingling under my skin as I’m flooded by memories from last night. The ones where he kissed me and licked me into pure bliss.

“Should we… talk about it? About last night?”

“Do you want to?”

I avert my gaze, my face warm. “Not really.”

“I don’t want to either. I went too far and things got out of hand. It won’t happen again.”

I made him promise that.