Page 4 of His Surrender
She answers before the second ring. “Hi, girl! How are you?”
I push back from the desk I’ve had since high school and catch my reflection in the mirror. My dark hair is piled into a messy ponytail that’s one bad hair tie away from giving up, I’m makeup-free, and judging by the oversize sweatshirt I’ve been wearing since this morning, I’ve officially accepted that today is a lost cause.
“I’m fine,” I lie, letting myself fall backward onto my bed.
Sydney laughs softly. “Ouch. Another bad day?”
I sigh. “I would’ve happily taken fourteen interviews.”
“You’ll get there, Aubrey.”
“I just thought I’d be there by now.”
The words hang between us.
When I pictured life after graduation, I imagined my own apartment, decorating an office, grabbing happy hour with coworkers after work. I didn’t picture moving back into my childhood bedroom, sending out résumés all day, and wondering if I somehow missed the memo everyone else got.
“Have your parents said anything?”
“They’re trying not to.”
“But …”
“But every time my mom asks how the job search is going, I swear I lose another year off my life.”
Sydney laughs. “She’s just worried about you.”
“I know she is.” I glance around my room, my eyes landing on the framed college degree hanging above my dresser. “They’re both being great about me living here. I just hate feeling like I’m standing still.”
“You aren’t standing still.”
“It feels like I am.”
A knock sounds on my bedroom door before it slowly opens.
Mom leans her head inside. “Sorry, sweetheart. Dinner’s ready.”
I cover the phone. “I’ll be down in a minute.”
She smiles. “Don’t let it get to you. Something will come along.”
The door clicks shut.
Sydney doesn’t say anything for a beat.
“You know,” she starts, “if you ever need a break, you can come visit me in Chicago.”
I sigh. “I might have to take you up on that. I’m burned out, and I can only take so much rejection.”
“Just say the word, babe. I’m here when you need me.”
After talking a bit about how her day went, I click off of the phone and toss it to the side, staring up at my ceiling.
Silence fills my room.
A year ago, this was exactly what I wanted. To graduate, move home for a little while, and find a great job.
I wanted to start my life.
