Page 83 of A Reckless Indulgence

Her chest is tight. She can’t consider that now, so she leaves the note on the desk and eases the cabin door shut behind her. When she creeps onto the deck, the morning crew is sluggishly huddled around the coffee pot. The gangplank hasn’t yet been lowered, but Lyx finds the ladder attached to the side of the ship and descends.

She feels like she’s getting away with something awful, turning her back on Cav and walking across the dock. Water laps at the posts by her feet, and in the distance, a bell clangs. There is no bustle of activity. No eager visitors. No mellow disarray. It’s such a stark change from the Indulgence with its hum of conversation. Behind her, a round of laughter carries on the wind.

Before her, there is nothing but Tidus’s ship sailing into port.

The dock feels endless. Lyx almost wishes it was, the dread mounting inside her with every plank she crosses. Her mind tries to latch on some other possibility. You could run. You could swim. You could turn around.

But she knows how each of them ends: with her song crying out for her, and Tidus hunting her down.

Ahead, Tidus’s ship comes to a stop behind a larger one. Waves rush past her beneath the dock. Her tentacles yearn to break free. She can almost feel them wrapping around the trees and stones to hold her in place, but her feet don’t stop. She knows where she must go. She knows what she must do.

She climbs aboard Tidus’s ship.

He pushes out of the galley, eyes darting wildly behind her. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Heathen kicked me off.”

Tidus grips the doorframe so hard it squeaks. His jaw twitches. When he points behind him through the doorway, his finger shakes with rage.

Lyx doesn’t move. She should revel in the tumult, but it makes her sick. Going below deck will give Tidus license to take out his fury however he sees fit.

He knows it too. Baring his teeth, he clamps a hand around her arm and yanks her into the galley.

He storms and paces like a caged animal past the pot heating on the stove. Lyx doesn’t take her eyes off it. “I told you she was suspicious,” she says. “Her quartermaster followed me to our last meeting. They saw how close your ship was docked yesterday. They figured it out.”

A reasonable explanation won’t calm Tidus, but it’s the only thing she has. He keeps pacing, running fingers through his hair until he grabs the pot and flings it across the room. Liquid splatters against the wall and across the table. Lyx forces herself not to flinch.

“How could you fuck this up?!” he screams. “We were this close!”

Lyx waves the thought away with a trembling hand. “You can do better than the Indulgence. That’s a small fish. We’ll find a different target. A better one.”

Depths, she prays it strokes his ego. The room is suffocating with chaos spiraling out of her control, and she doesn’t know how to calm it.

“What about that disappearing treasure island?” She grasps for anything to distract him. “Chart a course for that. You can get rich. Buy all the followers you want.”

It’s like he doesn’t hear her. His eyes are rabid, chest heaving, filling her with an endless pool of nausea.

Then he takes a steadying breath.

It’s alarming how the tension seeps out of his body. His shoulders settle, and her heart thuds. All she can see are the empty, hollow depths of his pupils.

His voice is terrifyingly even. “What did your little hero think of this?”

A sour taste etches into her mouth. She wants to scream. “Who?”

It’s a pitiful excuse for a lie, but it’s the only hope she has. Maybe Tidus will forget Cav’s name again. Maybe he’ll forget Cav exists at all. Maybe he won’t see the panic rising inside Lyx like a tidal wave.

Tidus’s gaze catches on her like a hook. “Bet he hated to see you leave. Bet he thinks Heathen got it all wrong.”

Bet he’d give you anything you want — given the right motivation.

A chill crackles up Lyx’s spine. “Do not touch him.”

Beneath Tidus’s shirt, the shell glows until it vibrates. The light casts across Tidus’s face from below, leaving haunting shadows behind.

“You’re right, Lyx.” He eases in front of her and drags his pointer finger across the table. Only now does she realize he’s blocking the door. He smears through the liquid, pressing the pad of his finger down against the wood. “I don’t need you on the Indulgence. I need you right…here.”

The bell in the distance stops clanging.