Page 40 of A Reckless Indulgence

He looks caught off guard. Finally, she has the upper-hand again. No emotion he describes can shake her. She doesn’t feel them. She doesn’t need them. But she can read his.

She eases closer, watching Cav’s eyes follow her. “You’ve been flaunting yourself since you landed here. You didn’t care when your clothes were ruined. You hardly wanted to cover yourself at all. Why is that?”

She expects the desire in Cav’s eyes, but she’s surprised by what else appears. There’s something heavier, more consequential, weighing down the corners of his eyes. “Getting shipwrecked kind of throws out convention. Strange as it sounds, I like that.” A grin twitches on his mouth. “You’ll kill me no matter who I am. There’s something nice about that. There’s no reason to hide.”

“Why would you hide?” Depths, why is she asking? She should feel nothing for this conversation, nothing for anything Cav says, but she’s so close to him now. It’s like the earth beneath her is slipping, the force of gravity pulling her closer to him.

His tongue trails over his lips. “Have you ever wanted to be two things at once? Have you ever been tired of staying in one box, acting one way, fitting one mold? You don’t want to be limited. You want to be everything that you are. Everything you can be.”

Something inside her claws to get out, a bowstring pulled taut in her chest. She can’t set it free. It’s impossible to imagine shedding this skin, this role, this thing she’s always been. She is a siren. Her purpose and emotions and desires were laid out before she was born. That is what she knows. That is who she is, and no strange creature washed ashore in her grotto will change that.

Her throat feels like a vise. “I’ve never felt like that.”

“Never?”

He knows she’s lying. She refuses to admit it. “What else would I want to be?”

She is powerful. That, she knows. It makes it easy to lean into Cav’s space. No matter what else he says, he doesn’t resist her. Their mouths drift closer.

“I’m attached to nothing,” she hums. “My song brings me whatever I want. And the only thing I want? The only thing I care about?”

Their noses brush. His breath is warm.

She whispers the final word against his mouth. “Chaos.”

She doesn’t kiss him. It’s more satisfying to see him give in, sucked into her orbit, proving her right. He exhales slowly. She can’t help but smirk. The bowstring inside her notches tighter, pulling her toward him, but he doesn’t move. Only now does she realize she’s the one chasing his mouth, her head inclined, her body angled.

Like he’s the siren. Like she can’t resist him.

His smile is lazy. “Then what are you still doing here with me?”

Stinging pain shoots through her leg. With a hiss, she scrambles back and sees a glowing stick knocked free of the fire. Her hip throbs from the burn. Cav reaches for her, but she rises to her feet and scrambles toward the rocky ledge.

She knew better. She’d been distracted, and for that, she’s branded herself with a new scar. A reminder of exactly what she shouldn’t be doing. A reminder of exactly what she has to do to him.

SIXTEEN

Lyx

The crow’s nest is taunting Lyx.

Not because she could see anything the night Cav took her up there, but fuck if she doesn’t remember every single feeling. Perhaps that’s why it lingers. Perhaps Cav found a way to embed himself in all her other senses. The taste of his blood. The sound of his moans. The scent of his sweat.

She can smell him now, his sheets tangled around her legs when she wakes in his cabin. She holds her breath and lifts her head from the pillow, like that might spare her from the memories, but no. Her clit throbs like his tongue is still branded across it, his tail twisting in her mind, his grin scraping a shiver up the back of her neck.

She’s used to the restless sleep of sirens, but it’s made worse by the constant ache between her legs. Maybe she could rest if she found some release, but she refuses. She won’t touch herself on principle. She will not orgasm to the thought of Cav – again — which means suffering in silence.

Unfortunately, not everyone has taken the same vow, which Lyx learns when Briar and Lace whistle as she climbs onto the deck the next day.

“Surprised you’re walking.” Briar lifts a cheeky brow. “Thought your legs would still be jelly.”

“It wasn’t that good,” Lyx grumbles.

Lace drags his eyes up her body. “It sounded that good.”

Lyx’s glare deepens. It’s clear the show she and Cav put on didn’t go unnoticed. Already, the stares and whispers from the crew have started, and that won’t do for what she has planned.

She retreats to her cabin until evening. If she’s going to sneak around for Tidus, she needs to keep hidden. Easier said than done when the Indulgence is at sea for days with no customers to distract them, so she waits until nightfall. Once the ship is quiet, she creeps out of her cabin and trips over a tray of food.