Page 17 of A Reckless Indulgence

There’s no point denying it. Lyx lifts her chin. “I’d like a job.”

“What use would a siren have for a job?” Heathen wonders. “Surely you can demand anything you want from any number of people.”

Lyx swallows roughly. Admitting the truth is suicide; if she confirms she has no song, that a siren’s power can be snatched away… She won’t risk that.

“In any case…” Heathen waves the thought away. “My payroll is full. We have no need for you.”

Lyx digs her nails into her palm, like that might keep this conversation from slipping away. “A siren is a novelty. On a pleasure ship?” She forces the words through her teeth. “Customers would come from far and wide to bed one.”

A dark look crosses Heathen’s face, and she lifts her hand toward the door in dismissal. “That is not how I run my business.”

Lyx’s heart clenches. This isn’t working; it has to work. She has to get onto this ship. She has to get her song back. She has to get away from Tidus, and free herself, and —

“Someone’s looking for me. I need safe passage.”

The words escape her in a rush. She hadn’t meant to sound so distressed, but her voice wobbles. It gives Heathen pause. “You owe someone?”

Lyx shakes her head. The lie comes far more easily than it should, like she’s pulling from some well of truth inside her. “It’s an ex. I need to get him off my trail. If I lay low and sail to a few different ports…”

Behind her, the floorboards creak. She can feel Cav’s eyes on her, searching her face for answers. She keeps her eyes locked on Heathen. Heathen does the same.

“Why not return to the ocean?” Heathen asks. “Surely he couldn’t follow you there.”

The hollow place in Lyx’s throat burns. She can do nothing without her song. This conversation is just a reminder of how helpless she is, a drum struck again and again until Lyx can hear nothing else.

“Do you think…” Lyx clenches her eyes shut. “That I would ask for this if I could help myself?” The words boil in her mouth. She knows she should swallow them down, but it’s too late. They flow past her lips and spill between them. “Do you think I enjoy this? Debasing myself? Begging and pleading for charity?” Shame heats her cheeks. Depths, she sounds absolutely pathetic. “I wouldn’t be here if I had a choice. There is no other option. I need help. I need your help.”

The air goes still.

For a foolish moment, Lyx wonders if she can feel Heathen’s mercy. If the captain possesses that sentimental lenience Lyx has never experienced herself. But when she opens her eyes, Heathen’s posture straightens. “I’m sorry. We have no room for you.”

EIGHT

Lyx

The hope Lyx was holding onto slips through her fingers and shatters against the ground.

Cav appears beside her. “Come on, Captain, there has to be —”

“Don’t,” Lyx hisses. She doesn’t want Cav anywhere near this. She turns back to Heathen and fights to keep her voice level. “Please. I’ll work for free. I can make you more money than —”

“It’s not about money.” Heathen’s mouth sets in a thin line. “There are no spare rooms. You are an unknown variable; I can’t set you loose on my customers. Now, Cavalier, please see your guest out.”

Lyx’s head swims. How could she have prepared for this? What brothel owner doesn’t put a siren straight to work? Tidus will be furious if Lyx returns empty-handed. He’ll be furious if she returns at all, squandering the one opportunity to get on this ship.

She cannot go back. She cannot lose her song.

“What if she takes my room?” Cav asks. For once, there isn’t a hint of humor on his face. “I’ll sleep in my hammock on the deck.”

Heathen’s jaw tightens. “Cav…”

“If it doesn’t work out, you can drop her off at the next port.”

“Cav.”

“Playing it safe?”

Lyx’s eyes widen. She’s never seen someone question their captain so brazenly, especially in front of an outsider. Tidus took people’s tongue for that, but Heathen doesn’t call for her guards. Her eyes lock on Cav’s in some conversation Lyx isn’t privy to.