Page 95 of Her Sloth

“Cass,” says someone behind me.

A hand on my shoulder.

I spin round as the panic takes over my body.

“Breathe,” says Doctor Chang. She smiles pitifully. The smile I saw when the FBI came knocking with the news of Elise's death.

I shake my head.

Stumble back.

I need to protect myself from the wrecking ball that’s gonna hit me.

“Come with me,” she says and takes her arm onto my back, pushing me somewhere.

The floor I’m walking on feels like gell-o.

“Look,” Doctor Chang says as she pushes me through a glass door, through a corridor, and another door.

She’s taking me to the morgue.

I’m falling.

Falling so deep that I can’t see properly anymore, can’t distinguish where I am and what is happening⁠—

I clutch to the wall.

The doctor puts a hand on my chest and walks me through another door, turns and pulls a curtain aside.

“We had to put her in a separate room because she is quite known and some paparazzi tried to sneak in,” says the doctor.

But I don’t listen to her anymore.

“Addy,” I breathe out as tears shoot into my eyes, running down my cheeks.

She lies in the bed, covered in bandages, but with her eyes open, looking directly at me.

A weak smile appears on her face.

Loud, uncontrollable sobs escape me.

I cover my nose and mouth with my praying hands as I send a prayer up to God.

And then I’m with her.

Her face falls slightly to the side.

I want to grasp her, but I don’t dare touch her; she looks so fragile.

So I frame her face with my hands at a distance.

“I’m so sorry,” I breathe out between my sobs.

“Don’t,” she whispers.

I smile through my crying because she said the word.

She’s okay.