The first time I felt peace in forever.
Because nothing matters.
Nothing I know, nothing that will be or could have been. The only thing that matters is being right here with her.
And then, I am pulled away, out of the car.
“NOOOOOOOO!” I scream, trying to fight whoever is pulling me.
I kick.
I roar.
I am not going to be rescued. I am going to die with her.
Flames are everywhere.
I am dragged away over concrete.
Someone handles me.
A blanket is thrown over me.
No. No. No.
My body acts on its own accord with power I didn’t know I had.
I turn—see the Eleanor in flames, with her inside.
A scream I don’t register as my own escapes my throat.
I fight myself onto my knees.
Run to her.
Someone grabs me with arms around me.
I need to get to her—
She can’t die—
Not without me—
I scream.
And scream with tears streaming down my cheeks.
Nothing matters except getting to her.
I hit whoever is holding me with my elbows.
Kick.
Wiggle myself out of the grip.
Run to her.
Into the flames.