“Ijust can’t fucking do this.”
I dial Everest’s number for the thousandth time. I’m sitting in the back of the car; Damien is driving and Seraphina is beside him. We had to make a few pit stops to get rid of any evidence linking Lia to the bazooka attack. It’s a little more complicated to do here than back in the United States, because we don’t have the same kind of friends in this country. But one connection led to another, and with Damien’s help and a full day of work, I’m pretty confident that Lia won’t be bothered.
Then we had to make another stop at police headquarters, where the bazooka had been entered as evidence. I don’t know why Lia is so intent on getting it back, but what my baby wants, she gets. I’m not sure what she can possibly achieve with an empty bazooka, but if I’ve learned anything lately, it’s that I need to stop underestimating her. I’ll let her have it, but I’ll make sure she’s nicely tied up and secured in her cage first.
Now, I wait impatiently for my call to go through. The results of the DNA test must be back by now.
“It doesn’t even matter, though,” I groan. “I know it’s her. I shouldn’t have listened to you, Seraphina. Damien is right; I’m only setting myself up for more pain.”
Seraphina opens her mouth to protest, but just then, Everest answers.
“Yeah?”
“ Fucking hell, man! You couldn’t have picked up earlier?”
“Well, I’m here now. What is it?”
“What do you mean, what is it? Why the hell do you think I’m calling you?”
“Yeah, yeah. Take it easy, bro. I’m still waiting. They said it would take a few more minutes.”
“Goddammit.” I sink back in my seat, the short wait feeling interminable.
“Got it!” says Everest at last. I hear the rustling of paper. “The results say the baby was female.”
“Right.”
“Maybe a month or so in age…”
“Yeah.” I close my eyes, each bit of information seeming to confirm the worst.
“They got a match in the database. A girl named Jane…”
“Fuck!”
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Seraphina’s eyes widen, and she reaches out a shy hand to pat my arm. I know it’s not her fault, but I hate her right now. Her, Damien, Everest. Everyone. But above all, myself.
It’s my fault. Everything is my fault. I’m the one who abandoned Lia, who allowed our daughter to be taken from her, and who’s keeping her in a cage now, treating her like she’s less than human.
“Let him finish talking,” says Damien from the front seat. “Maybe...”
“Maybe what?” I groan. “You were right, Damien. It’s useless. Everything’s useless. There’s nothing but pain for me in this life.”
“Damn, you’re dramatic,” comes Everest’s voice from the other end of the line. “Wait till I finish, man.”
“What else could there be?” I growl. “Her name is Jane, she was one month old when she died, and she’s buried under Devil College. I need to make my peace with it, and focus on Lia.”
“Okay, well, it’s just that I’m looking at the DNA results…”
“Yeah. We know.”
“I mean, the match they found was for another Jane. A girl whose DNA matched a different couple named Peter and Mia Solaro. It didn’t match Lia’s DNA or yours, Logan.”
I freeze, trying to wrap my head around his words. My voice seems to come from far away as I slowly ask, “Does that mean... does that mean my daughter’s alive?”
_
“Don’t get too hopeful, man.”