Page 5 of Pieces: A Companion Piece

For funny comfort shows, we strongly recommend Ted Lasso, The Big Bang Theory, Modern Family, Schitt’s Creek, Young Sheldon, and Resident Alien.

Baby steps are the way to go, bro! Don’t rush your recovery, please. Or we will tell on you.

Corey suggests you visit their farm to cuddle more doggies and Chonky. Also, Archie will make you anything you want.

Sometimes, the most freeing thing is to break down and cry.

Please enjoy these coupons we’ve made you.

FROM NOT A BRAT

Hello, Shay.

I miss you.

I’m sure River and Reese are devastated without you too.

They will find you, though. They have to.

But enough of that, because I don’t cope well with the anxiousness anymore. Instead, I want to give you some aces you can keep up your sleeve for future use. You never know when you might need one.

1. Master Greer, the New Yorkiest of all New Yorkers, recently said he’s tired of pizza. Seriously, he said that.

2. If you want to scare Master Lucian, tell him, “Watch out for the kid behind you!” And watch him recoil in horror. It’s so funny!

3. Mention to Colt that it’s not chili without beans and watch him lose his mind.

I have more if you need them!

You learn so much by observing. But you already know that.

XO,

Not a brat.

THE FUNNY PAGES BY LUCAS CARTER

PART II

Hello again, honey.

No one got peed on today, much to Jordan’s relief.

A few days ago, I did get to watch Colt’s face when he sank his teeth into an appetizer Macklin prepared, though. My God, you would have laughed. The treat admittedly appeared very tasty. Like a small cracker with something fried on top, and then something white and what looked like radish. Colt was clearly preoccupied, so he didn’t think twice—despite Macklin’s latest reputation around the house. Colt stuck the little morsel into his mouth. Chewed once or twice, then slowed down as it dawned on him. As the flavors spread. A pinch of what the fuck flitted by, and then the fuck me sideways, this is nasty.

He chewed a couple more times before he promptly shook his head and went to spit it out.

It turned out to be toast with apple butter, fried octopus, horseradish whip, and a candied strawberry.

We miss you so much.

FROM LITTLE COREY CRUZ

Hi, Shay.

It’s me, Corey.

It goes without saying I’m worried sick about you, but I’ve made the decision that River and Reese are going to be successful. They will rescue you, and you will come home again. I am sure of it!