If I stay, I will give him even more of me than he deserves.
I’ll cave into that darkness I crave so much from him.
This sickness he feeds me. The one that matches a secret side of me I have yet to fully explore.
I take a deep breath and snatch the panties from his hand. Trying not to think about it, I stand up and slide them on.
“Beautiful,” he says. “My cum looks good on you, sis.”
I don’t respond. I let him have this moment. His triumph. He won’t be getting anything else from me.
There’s only one thought in my mind as I reach down to pick up my dismissed pajama pants, the stickiness of his fluids colliding with my sex with every move.
I need to run. Run as fast as I can.
22
MADDY
A WEEK AND A HALF LATER - 18 YEARS OLD
Time goes by impossibly slow when you’re ignoring your stepbrother after giving him an indecent let’s-cut-all-ties present.
It suits me fine, though.
Because that means I’ve had enough time to focus on the presentation I have to give in class this week. I’ve been doing nothing but studying, note-taking, and practicing by myself in my room. The hard part is when the sun goes down, and I find myself alone in my room.
Making new friends feels like too much trouble after what happened with Jordan and Cal. And since I’m having zero conversation with Kayden, I really have no one to talk to.
I could talk to Mom, but I can’t tell her what I feel or what I’m going through. How the thoughts of doing things I shouldn’t with my stepbrother give me R-rated dreams, forcing me to put pen to paper to rid of the fantasies I don’t want to have.
So I do what I shouldn’t—I find solace in my fingers and my smutty books, believing that eventually I’ll find someone who accepts me and wants me as I am. Who won’t ask too much of me, who I’ll be enough for. Someone who won’t leave me and stay by my side no matter what.
Deep down, I want that. Even though my head keeps telling me I don’t need anyone, that I’m better on my own, free of drama and annoying feelings.
My phone buzzes on my desk, and my eyes divert to the illuminated message.
Kayden:
What are u doing?
I snort. I knew he’d give in sooner or later. He couldn’t help himself. I’m a toy to him, nothing more.
Maddy:
What do you want?
As much as I don’t want to, my heart’s stuck in my throat, anticipating a reply.
Kayden:
What makes you think I want anything?
Maddy:
Because you’re texting me.
Kayden: