Page 39 of Make You Beg

Shit. What did I do? What am I doing?

“What a fucking asshole.”

There’s only one thought in my mind that I don’t tell her.

At least he left, and he doesn’t beat the shit out of you. I wish my dad would disappear from my life.

Set me free.

But I don’t say that. She knows my father isn’t my biggest fan, and that’s it. She doesn’t need to know what happens behind closed doors. What Lucas A’gosto has put great effort into hiding. I don’t want to pop the bubble she’s in, that she entered a slightly better family. I can’t tell her that an absent father is better than a rotten one.

That one loving parent is better than none. That she’s had it better than me. I know her mother loves her.

But my father doesn’t know love.

And that’s probably why I can’t get myself to understand that feeling.

The only thing I know is seeing Maddy like this hurts.

“What do you want to talk about?” I don’t want to push her into saying more.

It’s clear this is affecting her.

“Anything.” Madelyn shrugs. “What do you want to talk about?”

“Your birthday?” I say. “It’s coming up.”

“Coming up?” Her tone is lighter now the hatred is out of her system. “It’s two months away.”

Maybe talking about problems is hard, but it lifts a weight off our shoulders.

I wish I could do the same. Throw out these bottled-up emotions, but I can’t.

Maddy doesn’t deserve to know about the anger I hold inside.

Her shoulders relax. “You know what? I’m glad I told you this, Kayden.”

It’s like I read her mind.

“It feels good, letting it all out. Thank you for listening.”

I nod. “It’s not a big deal.”

I continue shifting the conversation toward her, so she doesn’t think about asking me things. So she doesn’t say that now it’s my turn to talk, how it’ll soothe me if I do.

It’s not gonna happen.

“Now tell me, what do you want for your birthday, Little Demon?”

9

MADDY

MADDY’S EIGHTEENTH BIRTHDAY

“Happy birthday, bitch!” My friend Kira embraces me in a hug as I open the door for her. “What the hell are you doing in your pajamas? We’re going out to party.”

I huff. To be fair, I didn’t have any plans to party tonight, though I didn’t expect anything less from my friends.