Page 32 of Make You Beg

And still, I’m watching her as she stares up, focusing on the lines of her neck, the space between her jaw and shoulders, instead of the constellations in the sky.

I want to pin her against the rooftop and suck on her neck.

The sky isn’t beautiful. She is.

“I don’t come out here to look at the sky.”

“What do you come here to look at?”

“Nothing,” I say.

Though right now I can’t see anything else but her. The way the blouse she’s wearing clings to her skin. How her nipples are becoming hard from the breeze, giving away the fact she isn’t wearing a bra.

I laugh. Talk about wanting what you can’t have.

“I don’t come out here to look at things. I come here to think.”

“Think about what?”

Her mouth opens, her pouty lips directed at me.

My mouth, on your skin, my tongue marking my territory on your body.

“Everything and anything. My life. My mom. My dad. What I hate. What I like. Sex.”

She blushes at the mention of the three-letter word.

“School,” I attempt to soften her.

“Right.” She nods to herself, bringing her legs closer to her chest again. “Talking about school, congrats on graduating. Are you excited?”

I scoff, snatching the wine bottle to take another sip. “Define excited.”

“Well, you’re a free man now.” She fumbles with her fingers. “I didn’t see you getting any admission letters or anything, and that’s something we usually deal with before graduation. So I wonder what your plans are? Don’t you want to go to college?”

“Right.” I swing around the bottle in my hand. “Yeah, I’m not going.”

“I mean…There’s nothing wrong with not going to college. But…” A streak of pink hair falls from her bun, covering her face from my view, and I lean forward and push it back behind her ear.

“But what?”

“But, what about your dreams? Don’t you have any? I totally thought you were going to get a hockey scholarship or find a way to play it in college, at least. You seemed into it.”

I take another sip of the wine before closing the bottle and leaving it aside. I consider telling her I wanted that, that I had a passion for it. That hockey was the only other thing in my life that made me feel in control besides my taunting her. But what’s the point? It’s too late for me anyway.

“Nah. I’m not a dreamer, Little Demon,” I say instead. “I don’t make plans. I deal with things as they come. It’s better. No expectations, no disappointments, no stress.”

“You could still go to college, though, you know?” She pauses. “Take a gap year and think about what you want. Many people do that. Then, we can find a school for you.”

I grunt. “No, Madelyn. Stop.” I pause. “I’m not going because my grades are too shit to get me accepted anywhere. Okay?”

She purses her lips. “I’m sure there is one that offers what you want to study and isn’t too strict with grades.”

I scoff. She’s trying to fix me. Trying to take the role I’m being too stubborn to take on myself.

“I’m sorry. I’m…It’s something to think about,” she volunteers. “I’d help if you want me to.”

“Seriously?” That’s a surprise. “I thought you hated me.”