Page 65 of Love with a Notorious Rake

“My. Quite the narrative,” Cristyn said.

He released her hand. “Does it give you pause?”

“Do you live that life now?”

“No.”

She stared at him, as if waiting for further clarification. He gave her none. “Do you have any intentions of returning to that lifestyle in the future?” she asked, one eyebrow raised.

“No,” he answered, his voice firm. “Never.”

“Where do we go from here?” she asked, her voice soft.

“What do you want, Cristyn?”

“For you to make love to me.”

Aidan groaned. “You shouldn’t even be in my room.”

“I understand the ramifications. I’ve listened to the advice. But when, where, and why we meet is my decision.”

He snorted. “I do not wish for you to be the subject of gossip. It is not something I recommend.”

“Again, that is my decision. I don’t expect anything in return, any promises or whispered words. Just us, together. I have yearned for it for so long.”

How could he refuse such an open and honest declaration? “God, Cris. You have invaded my dreams for months.” He tunneled his hands through her hair. A few pins clattered to the floor. He gently pulled her head back, exposing her neck. Her pulse throbbed rapidly. He nibbled on the vein, biting gently, licking and kissing until soft moans left her throat. “Damn it, I have no sheaths with me.” He continued on his journey along the column of her neck. “My bleak past? Diseases? A possible pregnancy?”

“There are ways to avoid pregnancy. You’ve been with no one since January, surely.”

Aidan froze. Damn. Hell. Fuck.

“Oh. I see.” There was no censure in her voice, but there was no emotion either.

He sat back, then cupped her face, gazing into her eyes. “I stopped at a brothel in London on my way home. It turned out to be one of the more empty and meaningless experiences of my life. I thought it would erase you from my mind, but it was a dismal failure. I am not the same man. Those types of amusements no longer appeal. Regardless, it can be argued I am not worthy of you. Do you wish to give your virginity to the likes of me?”

“You truly are a bounder,” she murmured.

He kissed her forehead. “Yes. A complete cad. And I’ve been with a man; let us not forget that salient proof of licentiousness. I am a lout, a scoundrel, a dissolute rascal, a—”

“Stop. I believe you when you say you’re not the same man.” She gazed into his eyes, as if searching for truth. Or decency. But if he had any decency, he would escort her to her room and say good night—apparently enough of the rake still lingered.

“I am not. But I want you, Cris, I ache for you. I used sheaths at the brothel, and enough time has passed that proves I do not have the pox. I was damned lucky, considering my earlier recklessness. But I give you my word I will withdraw. I will not come inside you. Do you believe me?”

Aidan waited; had he been too blunt? Cristyn was a nurse, and made of a strong substance. By her own admission, she’d heard and seen plenty. But he could not bear the fact she might think less of him because of his past. As for the future, he couldn’t think of it here. All he wanted was her. For them to be joined. To hold her in his arms. To be…inside her. Aidan waited, and started to grow worried at her silence.

“Yes, I believe you.”

He pulled her into his embrace and held her close to his rapidly beating heart. He was grateful. Elated. Aroused. And completely happy, for the first time in years. “A word of warning: I will not be able to go slow.”

Cristyn gazed up at him. “No one asked you to.”

His mouth crashed down on hers. From there, the room began to spin; how fortuitous they were sitting on the bed. The kiss deepened, grew fierce and hungry. Without verbalizing their wishes, both began to pull and tug at layers of clothing, kicking off shoes and boots. The rest of her hairpins rained to the floor as he tugged her raven locks free. Briefly burying his nose in her hair and reveling in her violet scent, he quickly shrugged out of his coat and waistcoat as Cristyn pulled his shirt from the waistband of his trousers. They laughed when they became tangled in various garments. But Aidan stopped laughing when her breasts peered out from the confines of her bodice. “Perfect, as I knew you would be.”

Cristyn lay on the bed, her expression sultry. All he wore were his trousers. There was so much he wanted to do. Kiss and lick her skin. Taste her, suckle her breasts. But he was not a patient man. Aidan slipped his hand between her legs, found the ties to her drawers, and quickly removed them. Brushing past her curls, wetness coated the tips of his fingers. Yes. Now.

But easy. She was a virgin. For all her seductive looks and eagerness, he could not forget that salient fact.

“Now, Aidan. Put it in me.”