Page 16 of Love with a Notorious Rake

Cristyn nodded. “Yes. His vulnerability and sadness opened my heart in a way it had never opened before. I wanted nothing more than to hold him and protect him. Why him, and not another male patient? An intimate bond formed between us—surely I am not mistaken in that. Through sheer will, he recovered. I admire his courage, his strength, and, yes, as he grew stronger, I cannot deny that his dark, devilish looks also appealed.”

“Perhaps his disreputable past appeals as well? I mean, I assume he has one, considering the opium. I’ve heard from various quarters that there is nothing like reforming a rake. Once tamed, he makes for spectacular husband material. Think of all that naughty sexual experience.”

Cristyn laughed, and Cyn joined her. Oh, she needed that.

“Speaking of naughty, my cousin, Suzanne, wrote me about a particular piece of juicy gossip. Do you wish to hear it before we continue? It will make for a much-needed diversion, however temporary.”

“Your cousin from London?” Cyn nodded. Cristyn had met Suzanne on many occasions through the years, when she’d come to visit Cyn during the summer months. They were all about the same age. “Oh, go on. I could use a good dose of salacious scandal.” Anything to take her mind off her heartache, and Aidan, if only for a moment.

“Well, this concerns the heir to the Earl of Carnstone; she didn’t say in her letter what the family name is or where they are from, and blast it if I know all the names of the peerage, but London had been chattering about this for the past several months. Apparently the heir attended one of those disgraceful parties aristocrats like to throw, with all manner of sin available for consumption.” Cyn’s eyes brightened as she relayed the sensational details. A vicar’s wife talking about immoral aristocrats. Only Cynthia Doyle Tennant would dare to do it.

Cristyn smiled at her dear friend. Yes, she had missed these conversations. “In other words, you’re speaking of an orgy.”

“You shouldn’t know of such things, and neither should I, but yes, exactly that.” Cyn frowned. “I can’t imagine it, all those tangled, sweaty bodies….”

Cristyn laughed once again, almost choking on her biscuit.

“Anyway, there was this auction,” Cyn continued. “And the heir, a sinfully handsome young man, according to all reports, was the prize. He went for hundreds and hundreds of pounds. He was sold to an ancient, licentious lord. Can you imagine?”

Actually, Cristyn could imagine it. She’d heard many similar stories in the years she had assisted her father in treating addiction. People would descend to unknown depths for a variety of reasons, and bored peers were always looking for a thrill, especially if it were illegal. “That is juicy gossip.”

“And it matters not to society, for I hear there are young ladies aplenty eager to make his acquaintance.”

Cristyn shook her head. “There’s no accounting for taste and discrimination.”

“But it proves my point about how rakes as husbands are in high demand.” Cyn reached for another biscuit. “And what the heir participated in is not only against the law, but against the rules of God. At least, that is what the church says. Davidson doesn’t hold with such strict rules. He doesn’t judge what people get up to privately.”

“Good for Davidson.”

“Now, back to the vulnerable, but devilishly handsome, Mr. Black. What will you do?”

A wave of sadness rolled through Cristyn. “He’s gone, Cyn. Three days ago. We parted on awkward terms, arguing and the like. But not before he stood close enough to nuzzle my neck.”

“Oh? Do tell.” Cyn winked.

“Oh, his passionate touch was all that I hoped it would be. He was aroused; I felt it. Yet he stepped away, claiming that it would never happen again.” Cristyn placed her empty cup on the tray. “He said, and I quote: ‘I am not a man to pin any hopes or dreams on. There will be no correspondence, no hope of more. I am not a nice man, Cristyn. I would use you, and toss you aside, as I have with many other women. You are too fine of a person to be subjected to the likes of me.’ Shouldn’t I be the judge of that?”

Cyn whistled. “Goodness. Not only do you remember what he said word for word, but he has a low opinion of himself. What do you know of his past?”

“Next to nothing, except that his family is well off. They breed horses, live in Kent. That’s it.” Cristyn caught her dear friend’s gaze. “Here’s the astonishing thing: I don’t have a low opinion of him. I can’t explain it; perhaps I’ve been blinded. I will never see him again, and it blasted well hurts.”

Cyn laid a comforting hand on hers and squeezed. “Oh, my dear. I don’t know what to say to make it better. What will you do?”

“I’ve been thinking. Perhaps I need a change of venue. I thought I might travel to London and find a position at one of the hospitals.”

Cyn’s eyebrows shot up. “London? By yourself? Your father will never agree to it.”

“I’m twenty-three, soon to be twenty-four. Besides, I have acquired a vast knowledge of medicine. I want to put what I’ve learned toward a more general practice. Set broken bones, treat wounds and the like, above and beyond what I have been able to do at my father’s clinic.”

“Surely he could find you a position in a smaller clinic nearer to home. Talk to him about it before you make a rash decision. London is overwhelming, and can be a dangerous place.”

Cristyn had to admit: her friend made sense. Now that she had spoken of her plan aloud, it took on a fresh urgency. She did wish to ply her skills in a more varied setting, but more than anything she needed to escape. Everywhere she turned, she was reminded of Aidan. He haunted every nook and cranny of the sanatorium, and every part of her heart and soul.

The only way to banish him for good would be new surroundings. A new life. In time, her heart would heal—she could only hope.

Chapter 5

On the road to Wollstonecraft Hall, trepidation moved through Aidan once again. Reuniting with the rest of his family brought on old anxieties and new concerns. Once all this reunion business concluded, he could commence with getting on with his life. In his head he could hear Dr. Bevan advising him to take a deliberate and straightforward path. But Aidan had never been the cautious type, or one to follow directions or commands. Obviously. He had always charged full-steam ahead without any regard to consequences—and look where he had wound up.