Page 52 of Marriage with a Proper Stranger

“It’s not pity, but empathy. There is a difference.” His blood boiled. “The damned arrogance of men. The mistreatment women endure, with no legal rights to see its end, is a blight on society.” He banged his fist again, and his water glass tipped over. Sabrina flinched at the sudden movement. “I didn’t mean to startle you; I am furious you were treated in such a vile manner.”

“It took me several months to realize that my fighting and screaming as he pounded into me merely stoked his lust. Eventually I lay still and did not utter a peep. After the first year, it became obvious I would not become pregnant easily, and his trips to my bed gradually lessened. But not his frustration.”

“What do you mean?”

“Pepperdon decided humiliating me would be ample punishment for not allowing his ancient seed to take root. He subjected me to acts….” Sabrina crammed her fist in her mouth.

His heart ached for her. He started to reply, but Sabrina said, “Let me finish, while I have the courage. By the end of our fifth year of marriage, he stopped coming to me. My indifference with the sex act finally caused him to lose all interest in me, thank God. I was left in peace at last. Weeks would go by without seeing him, which was fine with me. But the damage was done.”

Sabrina clasped her hands in her lap and met his gaze. “The remaining six years of my marriage allowed me to…heal. Physically and emotionally. Mary assisted me. I crawled out of the abyss, rebuilt my confidence, but built a wall about my heart, for I vowed no man would ever hurt me again. In any way. For if any man does hurt me, it will be an unforgiveable act.”

A definite warning. Here was the opportunity to confess about the settlement. There was still a chance she would choose to leave and live her life free and clear of him—and because of that, the lie remained, in order for her to have money for the future. This was all for her future, her protection—yet an uneasy feeling settled deep inside him.

As far as her marriage, it explained why she had shrunk from his touch when they first met. If her foul excuse for a husband wasn’t already dead, he would have seen it done.

“For six years I held a death watch. Imagine my surprise when Pepperdon actually did die. I don’t know from what; I was never told. Regardless, I was relieved and happy—until the reading of the will. One last humiliation, to leave me with nothing. His toad of a nephew, his heir, could not show me the door quickly enough. I had no choice but to return to my father. You know the rest.”

“Sabrina, saying that I’m deeply sorry you were subjected to the worst instincts of man is hardly adequate. Most men do not act in such a vile way. Well, at least those in my acquaintance.” But he knew there were men like her father and late husband; he’d heard stories from his father and grandfather of their many dealings with such entitled, arrogant men in London.

“Thank you for saying sorry; it helps.” Sabrina exhaled. “I’d like to put this behind me, starting tonight. Shall we read?”

“Of course, if you wish.”

She hurried from the room, leaving him stunned. And humbled. She trusted him enough to reveal her past. Guilt also took hold, for he was not being honest with her about a number of subjects. Distracted, he placed the wooden chairs close to the fire.

Sabrina returned and handed him the book. “I have a piece of paper marking the page.” Taking her seat, she gazed at him expectantly.

Considering Miss Featherstone was plain of features, she fairly sparkled when she smiled. Her large, expressive eyes reflected her changing emotions. Never had Sebastian been drawn to a woman like this before. Perhaps it was her inner beauty, which attracted him most of all—though she did possess glorious curves and full breasts. Enough with stolen kisses; he wanted more. As he pulled her toward the darkened balcony, the sounds of the ball they’d just deserted faded to the background.

Riordan glanced at Sabrina. She hung on his every word. Should he continue? Why not?

“My dearest, I must touch you.” Riordan read, as he deepened his voice to a husky whisper, acting the part of the hero. Sebastian tunneled his hands under the layers of silk, groaning when the tips of his fingers brushed by the slit in her drawers. “You are passionate, ready for my touch.” Pushing two fingers deep inside her, Miss Featherstone gasped at the invasion, then sighed contentedly. Faster he thrust, his thumb stroking her arousal. “Come apart in my arms. Come for me, my dearest.” God, he was hard, his shaft throbbing with want. He wanted inside her, but surprisingly, he found he wanted her heart more.

Hell. He was aroused as well. He caught Sabrina’s gaze. Her breathing was shallow, clear proof of her own arousal. If he read any more, he’d explode.

“Reading this book has taught me much. The touch of a man does not have to be abhorrent,” she stated breathlessly.

“No. It does not.”

“I believed I would never enjoy the touch of a man. But I enjoy yours. And your kisses. There is something between us.”

Once more, those sparks ignited and burned with an intense heat. “Yes. There is. With patience and care, it could be quite wonderful,” he replied, his voice hoarse.

“Will you be patient with me? Understand if I shrink away that it is not because of you, but because horrible memories are intruding on the present?” Her hazel eyes held him in thrall, almost pleading. He could not refuse her anything. “You see, I wish for what I revealed to you to become a firm part of my past. I don’t want my late husband or father to have control over my life.”

Riordan’s heart beat fiercely against his chest. “Yes to both questions. Together we will banish those lingering memories. I yearn to show you what bliss can be found in lovemaking. I can teach you…how to love.”

Chapter 20

The air was thick and heavy with emotion from their intimate conversation. ‘I can teach you…how to love.’ His huskily spoken words reverberated in her heart, causing it to beat faster. She’d been bold, first by asking him to read from the book, then inviting him to move beyond kissing. Could they do this and part when the annulment was final? To be honest, she wasn’t sure she still wanted the annulment. Why not explore their feelings and see where it would lead?

Mittens remained oblivious to the intense emotions swirling about the room, since she was fast asleep on the rug in front of the fire. Sliding her gaze to Riordan, Sabrina met his smoldering look. “How will you teach me? Where do we begin?”

He closed the book and set it aside. “Tonight. Here. I’ll be taking a bath. Stay in the parlor with me.” Previous nights, she’d retired to her bedroom. But it did not stop her from imagining him. To actually witness him bathe caused another blast of heat to settle in her feminine core.

“And do what?” Her voice was raspy, her breathing uneven.

Riordan hooked his boot under the chair rung and pulled her closer. The legs of the chair scraped noisily across the wood floor. “We’ll fill the tub. Then, you will undress me. Slowly. As you remove each piece of clothing, you will touch me, become used to my body. Observe how I respond to your touch.” His eyes were half lidded, his look entirely sensuous. “I wish for you to understand that I will never harm you. I respect you too much. I care for you…more than I should.” He repeated the movement with his boot, pulling her chair nearer until they were inches apart. “I’m falling for you, Sabrina.”