Page 32 of Marriage with a Proper Stranger

“Yes,” he said kindly. “I believe we are.”

“This is not easy for me, conversing, being pleasant. If at any time in the next three months I withdraw, either physically or emotionally, please know it is not you.” Blast! A lump formed in her throat; confessing such a defect in her character had exposed her. As much as her vulnerability often rose to the surface, she’d learned to keep it deeply hidden. Why was she telling this man her secrets? A man she’d only known barely three weeks? Because he deserved to know. Riordan Black was sacrificing his life by assisting her in her plan. This marriage could damage his budding career. The selfless act humbled her. “You see, the only way I could avoid being hurt was to hide, in whatever way I could. It’s a habit I’m finding difficult to break. Mary claims I live in shadow, and she’s been encouraging me to step into the light. I will endeavor to try.”

“Mary means a great deal to you.”

“Yes. As I said before, she is more than a lady’s maid. She has been a friend, sister, aunt, and even a mother all rolled into one.” Sabrina glanced at her tightly clasped hands resting on her lap. “I would not have made it this far without her support.”

“If you wish to discuss your past, I am a good listener. It does take a weight off to talk about it; it makes the journey forward easier to bear.” His voice was comforting, making it tempting to confess.

Slowly, she raised her head and met his eyes; they were soft with sympathy. “I’m not sure I can ever discuss it, but thank you for the offer.”

Once they concluded the meal, Riordan escorted her to her door. Grasping her chin, he caught her gaze and held it. “Until tomorrow.” He kissed her forehead, much like a brother would do. It was what she wanted, wasn’t it? Friends and nothing more?

As he turned and walked toward his room, Sabrina experienced a sense of loss at his absence, for secretly she yearned for him to kiss her goodnight as a fiancé might—how had he described it? Deeply. Thoroughly.

Tonight she would dream of him. For that was where Riordan belonged and where he should stay: in her nocturnal fantasies. It would take all of her resolve not to allow her true feelings to become reality in the clear light of day.

Chapter 13

Lack of sleep affected Riordan from the moment he woke. At breakfast, he drank three cups of strong coffee—not his preferred hot beverage—hoping it would shake the cobwebs from his mind—and dissipate lingering images of Sabrina writhing with passion in his bed.

The kiss. God, the kiss. He had indulged in a few dalliances, kissed his fair share of young ladies. But the brief one he shared with Sabrina in the darkened alley made every woman fade into the mists of his past. Her hesitance showed she’d not been kissed much. Not with genuine affection. But she’d soon returned it, pressing her lips to his. He wanted to devour her, taste every inch of her hot mouth, but he instinctively understood he would have to be patient.

For he had no intention of keeping his distance. Boundaries be damned. He’d never felt this way before. Never would he have believed that he could find an emotionally damaged widow appealing—by her own admission, Sabrina was all that and more. Behind her protective wall, he truly believed that a passionate woman waited for someone to show her affection and attention. How he yearned to be the man to scale the barrier and hold her in his arms. Show her what true intimacy consisted of.

After all, he had overheard part of her conversation with Mary before supper. He hadn’t meant to; he was about to knock when their voices carried into the hall. Blasted thin walls. She spoke of damaged trust and deep-seated fears, wounded pride and lost innocence. It tore at his heart, yet explained much: the aloofness, the pulling away from his touch, and the fright he’d observed in her shuttered expression at various intervals. Her marriage must have been worse than he originally imagined.

But now a spark of hope flickered in his soul. “I do not want to like him…but I do. I do not want to be attracted to him…but I am. It can go no further.” His heart had soared at her words, proof that he more than liked her. Hell, he could even be falling for her.

He had less than three months to show her that the attraction and liking could go further. It would be a challenge, and one he should not rush. The fact they were becoming friends was an excellent start. Slow and careful would win the day. Yet telling lies was not a solid foundation on which to build a relationship. Last night at dinner he’d been nauseous repeating the factory story. Technically, he hadn’t claimed the ten thousand pounds came from her father, but he doubted that she would parse his words that finely when his deception came to light.

When Sabrina mentioned the Wollstonecraft name he had choked. Kent was not far away; could he manage to keep his identity secret? What a tangled web. Damn her loutish father for calling his family “smug, do-gooder attention mongers.” This from a man who could not even be bothered to sit on the local board of education. The baron probably spent most days in his study, drinking brandy, content to allow others to attend to societal tribulations.

He must be in dire straits if he sold his daughter’s wardrobe to the local dress shop. Sabrina did not suspect. Riordan would do all in his power to protect her from the truth. She would be devastated to learn that her father sold her not once, but twice. How could a man treat his only child with such contempt and utter disregard?

As he escorted the ladies into William’s office, he banished such disturbing thoughts. After introductions, they all took their seats, he and Sabrina in front of William’s desk, Mary in a chair along the wall, close enough to participate in the conversation.

“I have two agreements for you to sign, my lady,” William explained as he opened the folder.

“Sorry to interrupt,” Sabrina said, “but I would like to make a slight amendment to the settlement. Instead of twenty percent, I wish for Riordan to have twenty-five percent.”

Damn. He was touched by her generosity. He was about to speak, but William beat him to it.

“Lady Pepperdon, Riordan has indicated to me that he does not want any part of the settlement. The full ten thousand is to go to you on the day the annulment is finalized. This agreement reflects his request.”

She turned to look at him; her beautiful eyes glistened with unshed tears. “Oh, Riordan. You’re kindness itself. But you are making a huge sacrifice and should be compensated accordingly. You deserve it.” Yes, underneath was a woman of immense emotion, and when it managed to bubble to the surface, it made her all the more alluring. Though her vulnerability was appealing, so too her determined desire to move on with her life on her own terms. God, he admired her for it.

Taking her hand, he brushed a kiss across it. “You will need every last farthing for your new life. Allow it to be my gift to you.”

Sabrina did something he didn’t expect: she leaned in and cupped his cheek with her free hand. He closed his eyes, drinking in the warmth from her touch. Time stood still, as if there was no one else in the room with them. But there is. He snapped open his eyes and found William staring at them incredulously, with one eyebrow arched.

Riordan cleared his throat. “The agreements?” Sabrina pulled her hand away and faced William.

“Of course.” William dipped the pen into the ink and handed it to Sabrina. “Read them over. The first agreement states that the money is yours on the day the annulment is granted. The second agreement is signed by your father, claiming the money will be deposited here after the marriage takes place. All the arrangements have been made with the baron’s bank.” William slid the papers across the desk for her to reach.

“What if…what if the ecclesiastical court does not grant the annulment?” she asked. “It could happen.”

A small part of Riordan hoped it would be the case. Marriage appealed to him. He was not his brother. Empty affairs soon lost all his interest. It had not taken long to come to the conclusion that he would much prefer an intimate, long-lasting relationship. A partnership. Lovers and friends. But this was about Sabrina and her fervent wish for independence.