Page 50 of Snowed In with the Runaway Bride

The snow had begun to melt.

Penny stared out the window of the taproom, already able to see patches where the snow was beginning to diminish. She had come down without Hugo, eaten without him. Now she stood at the window alone, looking towards her future. The future she had chosen the day she had run away from her wedding, no matter what detours had tempted her along the way.

The stagecoach that would bring her the rest of the way to Carlisle would be able to get through soon, and then she could be on her way to Aunt Nelson's in Bath.

And if Aunt Nelson refused to take her in, Penny would simply return to London and await her parents at their home there. Papa intended to return there immediately after Epiphany, and she would be perfectly safe with the servants around her. Papa would be able to advise her what to do.

She would miss Hugo. Miss him dreadfully. But she would not miss him any less as his abandoned wife, forced to stay behind for months or even years at a time, unsure if he was alive or dead.

No. Staying behind would be far worse. For both of them. Better for him to marry a complaisant woman than one who would be angry every day of his absences.

She felt his presence behind her, and turned her head a little to glance at him. He looked as though he had slept as terribly as she had, dark rings under his eyes and an ashen tone to his skin even under the dark shadow of his beard.

Seeing his anguish, she hesitated. Would she be able to bear it? Live in a house by the harbor, waiting for letters from him? Scanning the newspapers to see if news about his ship sinking was published before the Admiralty could inform her? Not knowing if he was well, or injured, or sick?

She did not fear he would find another woman. His heart had been too loyal to her for too long for her to worry about that. But knowing that he was pining for her while they were separated would make it almost unbearable to have to await his occasional returns and longer absences.

She hardened her heart. Separation would not be any easier simply because of a matrimonial tie between them.

"The snow is melting," he said.

"Yes."

"We can be on our way soon."

"Yes."

"Penny... "

She turned to look at him fully. "I cannot change my conditions."

"And I cannot change my mind."

"Then we go our separate ways, and part as friends."

"'Friends' is not what I feel for you."

She closed her eyes at the rush of pain. Not her joints. Her heart, aching already from the pending separation.

She opened her eyes again and let him see her pain and sorrow and resignation. "I know. But I love you too much to accept being separated from you."

As his expression changed, she turned away, swallowing hard to prevent the tears from coming. What was the point of continuing to argue when neither of them would change their minds?

He grasped her elbow and turned her back to face him.

“There is one other solution. Another compromise I could make. I can resign my commission.”

Penny’s jaw dropped and horror rose in her throat. “What?”

“We are at an impasse. You cannot come with me, and you will not stay behind. It is the only solution.”

“But… your career. You love the Navy. You love the sea.”

Hugo shrugged, clearly trying to pretend to a nonchalance he did not feel. “In the end, it’s not important. Not as important to me as you are.”

He took her unresisting hands in his as she bowed her head in anguish. “What do you say?”

“I… I need time to think. I cannot ask you to make such a sacrifice for me.”