Page 61 of This Time Around

“Shut up, Ana, you’re a smoke show and based on the way he can’t keep his hands off you. You’ll be pregnant again soon. Better get used to pregnant sex appeal.”

Knox loves Ana, and he cannot keep his hands to himself EVER. Ana brings out this primal side in him; he is not afraid to show off.

“Thanks,” I can hear her smile through the phone. “Was anything I said helpful?” she asks.

“Yep, I have the perfect outfit,” I respond with confidence.

“Not sure if it will change your mind about what you wear, but Luke is coming. Knox ran into him at the store. I was going to call you to give you a heads up once we had everything set up.”

My skin tightens, and little goosebumps erupt all over my skin and wetness pools between my legs. My body has a mind of its own when it comes to this man.

“Actually, it does,” I breathe out.

“Blake, what are you doing?” Ana asks, with clear judgment in her voice. “You have wanted him for so long, and now you have him and you’re giving up? I don’t understand. Well… I understand, but trust me, it’s not worth it.”

I know she’s right. I watched her and Knox carry on for years, pining after each other, letting the little shit impede their ability to be in love.

“I don’t know.” The admission feels like acid. “I’m just so mad at him right now.”

“Yup. You know, you can be mad at him, and still love him. You can also be mad at him and live with him. It can all happen at once, Blake. One thing I’ve learned over the years is that more than one thing can be true at a time, even if the ideas contradict each other. Don’t be like me. Don’t wait until it almost slips through your fingers to have love.”

“I know.” There is nothing else to say. I know she’s right, and I’m not even sure how to answer her first question. What am I doing? What do I want to gain from this?

There is a loud noise from somewhere in Ana’s house. “Hey, Knox is going to break something trying to set shit up on his own,” she laughs. “I’ll see you tonight.”

“See you soon.” I set down my phone and head to grab my clothes while the shower heats.

Two and a half hours later, running later than I expected, I pull up to Ana and Knox’s house. Ana bought this house shortly before they got back together, and I absolutely love it. It’s a small, two-bedroom ranch-style house nestled in a small neighborhood surrounded by trees as far as you can see. It is the picturesque vision of Vermont in every season, a small cottage feel, with stone and wood finishings.

I hear a bunch of people and music as I walk up the short walkway in the middle of the lawn, lined with small bushes.

“Hey,” Cash’s voice causes a visceral reaction in me, my stomach tightens, my jaw clenches, and for a split second I’m not sure if I want to punch him or walk away.

Deciding I don’t want to mess up my look before I see Luke, I head for the door.

“Blake, I’m so incredibly sorry. There was a huge misunderstanding.”

I stop and turn around, only to be met with the most genuine gaze.

“I know I left abruptly that night. I saw it on your face. But I’d never hooked up with anyone outside of a relationship, and I didn’t know what to do.” He looks down at his feet, kicking a rock back and forth. “I know, not quite the star athlete persona people are used to. But I had a great time, Blake. I planned on getting your number from Knox after the honeymoon.”

“Ok. That doesn’t explain you talking shit the next morning,” I retort.

“Fuck, this is embarrassing. I was talking with my buddy about a bat I just bought. I named her Betty, it’s a baseball thing.” He shakes his head. “I bought it on a whim, because it was the hot new thing, and I was hitting like shit with it. I didn’t know you overheard that, and I can see how it must have sounded, but Blake, I promise it was taken out of context. I would never talk about you, or anyone for that matter, like that.”

I break out in uncontrollable laughter.

“Are you serious? A bat?” I try to catch my breath. “What about the day in the hospital?”

“Bad timing. I hit my hand of the fucking door right before you came around the corner.” He offers me a shy smile. “Blake, the only one questioning your worth, was you. Trust me, you’re one of a kind, and Luke is so lucky to have you.”

“Thank you for the apology. I appreciate it. I’m sorry I caused all this drama for you.”

“It will pass. I’m glad I ran into you before I left.”

“Where are you going?” I ask.

“Just stopped by to give Knox my congrats. I have a flight back to San Diego. I’ll be back in a few weeks.” He takes a step closer now that it’s clear I’m not likely to punch him.