Page 28 of This Time Around

“Yeah,” I respond, still confused.

“I told you I was a bridesmaid in their wedding, well Cash was there as a guest. We hooked up, and he was a total prick about it. I thought we made a connection, but he left abruptly and the next morning he was in a booth behind me in the restaurant, and… Well… he just thought I wasn’t worth the effort, not game day material.” She pauses.

“What the hell does that mean?” He sounds like way more of a prick than he lets on.

“Who knows, probably some baseball euphemism for girls who aren’t good enough. I’m not exactly sure what I expected after a one-night stand.”

“One-night stands are pretty common, B, and since when do you shame yourself?” I ask, my blood boiling beneath my skin.

“It wasn’t just that night; when he ended up being part of the group that was camping, he begged me not to say anything and I brushed him off. I guess it pissed him off, because when I came to see you at the hospital I ran into him in the hallway and he was a real ass. The second he saw me he said I was a fucking bitch.”

My anger builds towards a guy I thought I liked, before he made my girl feel like shit.

My girl. Only she’s not my girl.

“After we hooked up I did a lot of reflection, and I have to change, you know? If I want a relationship, I can’t be the one-night stand girl. I’m taking a break from men so I can work on myself.” She won’t look at me, she just swirls her glass in her hand, watching the amber liquid swirl within its walls.

I imagine it mirroring her inner turmoil. Rage fucking boils inside me. Look at what he did to her! He touched her, was inside her, and treated her like anything other than fucking gold. I could fucking kill him.

“Blake, look at me,” I coax, using my index finger to pull her chin up so her eyes are on mine. Trying to soften my tone, I take three quick breaths. “He’s a fucking fool,” I breathe. “Like I said before, having fun and fooling around isn’t uncommon, and definitely not something you should be ashamed of. Men do it all the time, and don’t slut shame themselves, and neither should you. There is nothing wrong with knowing what you like and taking it. Fuck, I might fucking kill him for doing this to you, making you feel this way,” I snarl as I stand from the table.

“Luke,” she demands, pulling me back down. “Sit down. No need to go all cavemen on his ass. This isn’t a rescue mission.”

“Look what he did to you, Blake. He made you think you are anything but perfect, not worthy of a relationship. Fuck. That. You are fucking perfect, and if anything, I can’t think of a fucking guy out there truly worthy of your time.”

“Not even you?” she asks, laughing.

I take a grounding breath, allowing the surrounding noises to quiet the anger building inside me. “Even me,” I tell her honestly. “But I’d spend my whole life showing you I could be.” I finish the water next to my empty drink in one gulp, and walk to the bar to order us another round, wondering how the fuck we move past this night of built up confessions, and where the hell we go from here.

Perfectly Flawed

“Candlelight and soul forever,

a dream of you and me together…”

-Spice Girls

Blake

Last night, Luke and I left the bar shortly after he stormed off to get us another round. We sat in a comfortable, yet tension filled silence, both of us unsure what to do with the truths we just hurled at each other. Truths echoing in the silence surrounding me, making my shoulders tense and anxiety build after an already restless night’s sleep.

When he walked me to my car I could tell he wanted more. Maybe to say more, maybe to do more, but instead he stared into my eyes, brushed my cheek with his knuckle and offered a little wiggle of my chin, before smiling and opening my door.

I climbed inside, and he gently closed the door, letting the unspoken words vanish in the wind as I drove home.

This morning, the 16 year old girl with a shameless crush on her best friend’s brother makes a cameo.

Luke’s pissed at Cash, I know that much. While I should be worried he might do something he’ll regret, all I can think of is the fact he wants me. My stomach flips again at the thought.

I’ve been sitting on my couch for an hour pretending to drink my coffee. I’m snapped out of the tsunami of thoughts whirling around in my head when my doorbell rings.

The girls must be early.

Before opening the door, I set my now-cold coffee on the counter, only to come face to face with a disheveled Luke.

The door barely opened before he crashed into me.

“Luke, what are you doing? Your sister will be here soon, I think. I’m not even really sure what time it is.”