Page 20 of This Time Around

Luke

I’m not sure what happens to me when Blake is in the room, but honestly, I’m tired of fighting it. I am not a crude guy, and talking so candidly about my sexual desires is not something I am accustomed to, but she awakens this side of me. One I’m getting more and more curious to explore.

“You look tired,” she comments. “Do you still have a long shift ahead of you?”

“Nope. Just ended, well technically, it ended an hour ago, but I got caught up with a patient. You have perfect timing.”

“You probably shouldn’t be drinking coffee then,” she adds with a half smile.

“It’s decaf tea. I have been having a hard time sleeping, so I know better than to add caffeine to the mix.”

“Why?” she asks with a laugh. “Too busy picturing the horror show I unleashed on you this weekend?”

“More of a fantasy than a horror show, but I’ve just been struggling to find my footing here.” She doesn’t respond right away, instead she studies me. Concern etches her face, prompting her to lean in closer. So close I can smell the hint of vanilla and honey as it radiates off her.

“Luke, I’ve never seen you like this. Are you sure you’re OK?”

There is an undeniable warmth in her gaze, a softness. It looks a lot like affection. She’s worried about me.

“I will be. I just need more time to adjust.”

“Luke, if you're even half the doctor I believe you are, they're fortunate to have you here.”

“It’s just been hard. I had a place there, you know? Credibility and people who trusted me. I haven’t been the new guy in a long time, and now…” I pause, not knowing what I’m even thinking. She doesn’t expect me to continue. She just stands up and scoots in close to me.

Without a word, she places her head on my shoulder, grabs my hand between hers, and lightly glides her fingers over each knuckle. It’s a soft yet intimate action. An action likely to be exchanged between two people madly in love, who care deeply for one another. It’s simple. Natural. Like she’s done it a million times. We sit like this and drink our coffee and tea in silence, and right now here in this moment, Blake is a silent calm in my personal storm.

The Morning He Fucked With The Wrong Girl

“I’m a sinner, I’m a saint

I do not feel ashamed”

-Meredith Brooks

Blake

As I walk down the long white hallways winding through the hospital, they feel like a comforting embrace, a cleanse of the inner turmoil I have been experiencing since reconnecting with Luke. I found a much needed reprieve in the silence with him. I know he needed comfort, but really, he was comforting me. He’s my friend, a connection that has meant more to me, on a more meaningful level than I ever realized. A friendship I want to pursue, even though we will never materialize into something more. Even if he is more than a friend to me, more than just April’s big brother who I have a crush on. So much more.

I know the only way forward with our friendship is to loop in April. I have to be honest with her, because Luke and I cannot build a friendship based on lies. Plus, I can’t lie to her. She’s my oldest friend. I’ll see if he wants to get dinner and talk about how to go about it, decide how to bring this up to her. I grab my phone and send a text to him.

Me: Do you work Saturday night?

Luke: Miss me already?

Me: Want to get dinner?

Luke: Burgers at 7?

Me: Perfect!

A smile spreads across my face and just as quickly as it appears, my blood runs cold, and the smile is gone as I recognize the body walking towards me.

“What? What do you want?” I bark out in a bitter tone as Cash approaches.

“I saw you with Luke in the Cafeteria.” His reply is equally chilling.

I just stare at him, deciding acknowledging the obvious is not worth my time. I turn and walk away when he steps in my path.