Page 2 of This Time Around

About a year ago, she was in a terrible accident and was in the hospital for quite a while. She is quite literally the strongest person I know. As I help her slide the bracelet on her wrist, a gift from Knox, I can’t help but admire the scars adorning her arm. They’re an intricate road map to all the battles Ana has fought and won, and as I study them, I can’t help but feel amazed by my best friend.

Ana and I met at the bar we both worked at and, at first, breaking the shell she retreated into was difficult. Ana doesn’t trust easily. Her dad did a number on her family when she was in high school, and Ana is living proof that residual trauma is fucking real. She’s spent a lot of time waiting for the people she loves to hurt her, to prove their love was fleeting. She did it with Knox for several years, kept him at arm’s length, reacting in big ways to seemingly small things.

Today, watching her find her happy ever-after, is a day I could live on repeat for the rest of my life. I love my best friend with all I have, and seeing her finally happy makes my heart sing.

As I stand at the top of the aisle, the air crackles with intensity, with a profound sense of anticipation and emotion. I tune into every detail as I watch Knox and their son Riker stand together at the altar, their faces alight with admiration and unwavering affection. Every glance they share, every subtle shift in their expressions, speaks volumes. They love Ana more than life itself.

As she makes her way down the aisle, Ana’s approach to her boys standing at the altar seems to bring the world to a hush, magnifying the powerful emotions in the air. Knox’s eyes are alight with a warmth radiating outward, a blend of admiration and heat is palpable in the crowded room. It’s as if he sees Ana not just as she is, but as all she has become and all she means to him-a person who has redefined his world with her strength and grace. Their eyes meet from across the room, noticeably speaking a language all their own-one of an intense love.

I need that!

As the night progresses, I can’t shake the feeling that I might never find what Ana and Knox have. I didn’t even realize devotion was something I was craving until I watched it unfold in vivid detail today, right before my eyes.

“Blake, right?” a sultry voice whispers in my ear from behind, and the heat of his breath against my skin causes goosebumps to erupt in its path. As I turn around, my heart practically leaps out of my chest. Man, Cash is fine as hell. I instantly lose all inhibition,falling into my same old comfortable rhythm with men, completely forgetting my internal desire for something more.

“Yep, but if you’re looking for more than my name, you’ll need to earn it,” I answer, lacing my voice with pure seduction.

“Earn it, huh? Well, I’m always up for a challenge. What’s the first step?” he asks.

“Why don’t you go get us both a drink and we can see where the night takes us?”

After our fourth drink, and one shot with Knox and Ana, every slide of Cash’s fingers across the skin on my neck sends butterflies straight past my stomach, directly to my clit. I squeeze my legs together beneath my floor-length dress, attempting to dull the need building inside me.

We have spent the last hour talking, laughing and having a great time.

Now, here we are, slow dancing to “Crush” by Jennifer Paige, and all the other people on the dance floor around us are disappearing like shadows fading at dusk. It’s as if the world is gradually melting away, leaving just the two of us in a cocoon of soft, dim light. Each step we take seems to draw the edges of the crowd further into the background until it’s just the gentle rhythm of the music and the quiet hum of our own heartbeats, which remain. The bustling energy of the room is now a distant echo, and it feels like we’re floating in a serene bubble, where the rest of the world has melted away.

“I don’t want this song to end,” Cash murmurs, his voice a low, seductive whisper,sending a shiver directly down my spine. As he brushes my hair aside, his fingers graze my neck with a teasing caress. He leans in, his lips hovering close to my skin, so close I can feel the warmth of his breath, but he never quite makes contact. It’s a dance of anticipation and desire, his proximity a sultry promise keeping me on edge, savoring every electrifying moment of his near touch. The lingering closeness is both intoxicating and maddening, drawing me farther into the spell of the music and the moment we’re sharing.

“No?” I ask, my words stuck in my throat, lost in my need for him to kiss me. I’m completely intoxicated by his existence.

“No, because then, I have to stop touching you.”

“Are you looking for an invitation, Cash? Because if you are, I promise, I can make it worth your while.”

I don’t even wait for him to respond. I take him by the hand and lead him to the elevator, ignoring the glances and whispers from various other guests sitting near the exit as we retreat.

As the elevator doors close, Cash looks at me with lust-coated eyes, “Look, I’m here for a good time, not a long time, ok. I don’t want to lead you on. Let’s enjoy tonight for what it is.”

I blink a few times, flabbergasted by the sudden change in his voice and the slight douchebaggery consuming his demeanor. Yet, I also find myself ignoring that redflag, clouded by the intense need to have his hands on me; Instead, my clit wins the battle, leaving me silently nodding in agreement.

When the elevator doors slide back open, neither of us takes a moment to breathe, our hands pulling at clothes faster than we can move towards the door to my hotel room. I fumble with the key card I retrieved from my bra and slide it over the sensor several times before the green light appears out of the corner of my eye, blocked by Cash’s lips on mine. We stumble inside and I forget all about the one thing I really want-a love like the one I witnessed today.

The Morning After

“I wish I was special”

-Radiohead

Blake

Beep. Beep. Beep.

I fumble, trying to reach for my alarm on the nightstand next to the bed. The dim light from the sunrise filters through the thin curtains, casting a soft glow over the room. I squint at the clock. Shit, even with extra time, I’m tired.

After Cash had left, I called down to the front desk and arranged for a late checkout. It was a small indulgence, but the delay was a welcome reprieve granting me an extra hour of sleep, and a little extra time to get ready. It also allowed for an additional buffer to avoid the awkwardness of running into him,the feeling that often comes with the end of a one-night stand. All of it allowed me to sidestep the potential stares and hushed whispers that might follow once the usual checkout time rolled around.

I had a great time last night, but the thought of facing the judgmental glances from other guests as I made my way out was less than appealing. It’s a conflict that never quite sits right with me: while I love sex, the aftermath-or the so,called “walk of shame”,has always been a different story.